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Teacher to parents: About THAT kid (the one who hits, disrupts and influences YOUR kid) [WashingtonPost.com]

StopSignSchoolbusAlgiers

 

Dear Parent:

I know. You’re worried. Every day, your child comes home with a story about THAT kid. The one who is always hitting, shoving, pinching, scratching, maybe even biting other children. The one who always has to hold my hand in the hallway. The one who has a special spot at the carpet, and sometimes sits on a chair rather than the floor. The one who had to leave the block center because blocks are not for throwing. The one who climbed over the playground fence right exactly as I was telling her to stop. The one who poured his neighbor’s milk onto the floor in a fit of anger. On purpose. While I was watching. And then, when I asked him to clean it up, emptied the ENTIRE paper towel dispenser. On purpose. While I was watching. The one who dropped the REAL ACTUAL F-word in gym class.

You’re worried that THAT child is detracting from your child’s learning experience. You’re worried that he takes up too much of my time and energy, and that your child won’t get his fair share. You’re worried that she is really going to hurt someone some day. You’re worried that “someone” might be your child. You’re worried that your child is going to start using aggression to get what she wants. You’re worried your child is going to fall behind academically because I might not notice that he is struggling to hold a pencil. I know.

 

[For more of this story, written by Amy Murray, go to http://www.washingtonpost.com/...-your-kid/?tid=sm_fb]

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A very insightful commentary on all that remains hidden in support of what is in view (so to speak). As a special educator for 17 years I learned a great deal about the "form" of a behavior vs. the "function" of that behavior. In short, while special education services may require such an analysis for some students in what is referred to as a "functional behavioral analysis" (FBA), it really is something that all educators must engage in with any student informally all day long. In other words, every educator must continuously observe student outward behavior(s) and attempt to infer what the motivation and function of that observable behavior is on a non-stop basis. Behavior is a language all its own - and often it is used by children (and adults) to express unmet needs. The question is whether the adults in proximity can observe, understand, and then work collaboratively to meet the child's needs.

In school settings where the expectations - stated or not - are that each child access learning opportunities and not disrupt the learning conditions for others. It becomes a constant teeter-totter of self-regulation for every child but - as the article points out - there is so much going on for our most complex learners that it might take an entire team of 5-10 disciplines just to appreciate - and then serve - that level of complexity. 

In my own work as an educational professional developer, I have designed a number of courses that help address the level of expertise needed to support a learner such as the one described in the article. Additionally, our company has designed a number of courses that help support educators to create safe, orderly, and child-centered learning conditions that work for all. 

To borrow from the article's language - I can tell you that when educators take these online courses they increase their expertise and capacity to serve "that child" regardless of name, need,  or context. 

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