Forget Me Not Father (www.elephantjournal.com) & Note

Dana Brown posted:

Cissy ~ your Love and Light permeates through all the letters you choose as words which capture your pain, angst, emptiness, hope, and healing. Such a prolific writer, thank you for your courage to be raw and share your wounds with all of us. Your vulnerability and your healing journey are models for all of us to learn from and be inspired by.

So grateful for you in our lives Cissy...

Dana:

Thank you so much. You are one of the most kind, compassionate and sincere souls I've met which makes it hard to stay a total cynic I'm grateful for you!
Cis

Cissy ~ your Love and Light permeates through all the letters you choose as words which capture your pain, angst, emptiness, hope, and healing. Such a prolific writer, thank you for your courage to be raw and share your wounds with all of us. Your vulnerability and your healing journey are models for all of us to learn from and be inspired by.

So grateful for you in our lives Cissy...

This story overwhelmed me with joy and amazement, and validation. What a writer... what a testimony... what insight and honesty. I absolutely savored every word. I also recognize the importance of self expression, and began writing after the tragic death of my neice. I was 42 when she was killed, and after a time of denial and disbelief, reality set in along with a lifetime of burried trauma. Writing, along with my faith in Jesus saved me from years of battling PTSD and suicidal thoughts. Having a place to share our experiences and feelings is is so important...it's a source of life through connection...it prevents us from isolating...it provides opportunity to build relationships with others who have suffered from trauma. THANK YOU for using your amazing gifts, talents, and insights - (and empathic heart!) - to reach a community so desperately in need of support and acknowledgement.

GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

Continue to inspire & be inspired!

Sincerely Blessed...J

Jeanette✝✍

Thanks for writing this, Cissy. Led me to pause and reflect on this busy day. The hole that I grew up around has never gone away, either. For years, I tried filling it in ways that would NEVER work. I began healing when I finally accepted its presence and the pain, which has thankfully diminished to occasional intense longing. 

Oh, Cissy.... wow... I read your entire piece three times - I don't know how to put into words how beautifully you write and convey your feelings and experiences. Thank you for sharing so deeply. ~Lisa

Laura Pinhey posted:

I have read this a couple of times now and still I am moved almost beyond words.

My father was a veteran of the military but not of combat. He was never homeless (that I know of) but he did have substance abuse issues and was largely absentee. So, the "daddy issues" element of this strikes a chord in me.

But I think that much of what's so powerful about this piece is that what you say can apply equally as well to any number of traumatic or difficult experiences, especially the part about others (and sometimes even us) preferring to turn away rather than face difficult truths. 

 

 

 

Laura:

Thanks so much! It delights me that it feels relatable to you and to other forms of trauma and loss. That's always my hope when I write anything. So thank you for commenting and giving me that gift. It's funny that you mention "daddy issues" because I think that phrase is far more popular in the culture and familiar to many of us than lots of the more formal or clinical ones. So yes, this is certainly a "daddy issues" experience too which many of us share. Cis

I have read this a couple of times now and still I am moved almost beyond words.

My father was a veteran of the military but not of combat. He was never homeless (that I know of) but he did have substance abuse issues and was largely absentee. So, the "daddy issues" element of this strikes a chord in me.

But I think that much of what's so powerful about this piece is that what you say can apply equally as well to any number of traumatic or difficult experiences, especially the part about others (and sometimes even us) preferring to turn away rather than face difficult truths. 

Cissy -

This is so sad and sweet and raw and humbling. My dad was a WWII veteran. He served on a submarine in the Philippines. My brother told me stories our dad told him about seeing horrors beyond belief. He was a Hurt Person as a child. And your line about blood bleeding into generations is so true! 

Your ability to grow and live and love and be a great mom is a wonder, blessing, and inspiration. Somewhere it offers some solace for your dad somehow, too, is my belief.  Not sure how. But that thought helps give me peace when thinking of my dad.  Despite his rages, my children know me as a loving, kind, probably too-lenient and generous mom who knew that if I botched rearing then, nothing else would really matter. Maybe our dads are somewhere together in the afterlife, a couple of weathered veterans who were broken people who helped break others, but are feeling a little mended and a little more whole as they look at us. That thought brings me peace. 

Thank you for your writing this piece. When you go to the page and share your gifts you open  way for healing. Thank you. 

C  

Carey: YOU HAVE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT! I love that idea of our fathers at peace and that somehow, despite their rages and sorrows and acting out of pain they did indeed have daughters who went on to help heal the intergenerational trauma. I too like to imagine that our healing goes back in time and not only forward. Your words and thoughts are lovely and healing. With so much warmth! Cis

Donna Jenson posted:

Oh Cissy,

What a magnificent piece of writing. So touching and teaching. " The war causes wounds that bleed into generations." and "I think of all the questions I never answered and wonder what I might say if I felt I could speak the truth. How it would feel for the honest truth to be welcome to arrive?"

Thank you so much for sharing it.

Regards,

Donna

Donna: THANK you! Cis

Robert Olcott posted:

Both of my parents were 'Veterans', although it was 12 years after my mother's [suicide] death, before she became a 'Veteran' -she'd been among the seven groups now recognized by the current veteran's benefit handbook as WW II WASP Pilots, etc.  She'd had a 'twin -engine rating' last time I checked the FAA records, and I remember her talking, during my childhood, about having flown a 'B- Flying Boxcar', among other military aircraft.

Wow! It have been hard to have served and not to have been acknowledged, officially, as having done so for your mother. Do you have any photos of that time in her life? So interesting! Thanks for sharing. And I'm sorry for your loss. Cis 

Gail Kennedy posted:

Cissy, your writing blows me away - time and time again!  THANK YOU for sharing - love the reference to forget me nots... so visual and beautiful.

Thank YOU Gail for reading and for encouraging me. Cis

Both of my parents were 'Veterans', although it was 12 years after my mother's [suicide] death, before she became a 'Veteran' -she'd been among the seven groups now recognized by the current veteran's benefit handbook as WW II WASP Pilots, etc.  She'd had a 'twin -engine rating' last time I checked the FAA records, and I remember her talking, during my childhood, about having flown a 'B- Flying Boxcar', among other military aircraft.

Oh Cissy,

What a magnificent piece of writing. So touching and teaching. " The war causes wounds that bleed into generations." and "I think of all the questions I never answered and wonder what I might say if I felt I could speak the truth. How it would feel for the honest truth to be welcome to arrive?"

Thank you so much for sharing it.

Regards,

Donna

Cissy, your writing blows me away - time and time again!  THANK YOU for sharing - love the reference to forget me nots... so visual and beautiful.

Cissy -

This is so sad and sweet and raw and humbling. My dad was a WWII veteran. He served on a submarine in the Philippines. My brother told me stories our dad told him about seeing horrors beyond belief. He was a Hurt Person as a child. And your line about blood bleeding into generations is so true! 

Your ability to grow and live and love and be a great mom is a wonder, blessing, and inspiration. Somewhere it offers some solace for your dad somehow, too, is my belief.  Not sure how. But that thought helps give me peace when thinking of my dad.  Despite his rages, my children know me as a loving, kind, probably too-lenient and generous mom who knew that if I botched rearing them, nothing else would really matter.

Maybe our dads are somewhere together in the afterlife, a couple of weathered veterans who were broken people who helped break others, but are feeling a little mended and a little more whole as they look at us. That thought brings me peace. 

Thank you for writing this piece. When you “go to the page” and share your gifts you open the way to healing as few writers can. It is wonderful that writing helps you heal, as that means you’re likely to keep pieces such as this coming. You are so generous in your writing. Not many people want to explore something so painful, much less share it, publically, or take the time to craft it so beautifully that a reader is drawn from one word to the next. Thank you for sharing your pain, healing, and gifts.

C.