We live in a world where so many of us don’t understand the facts versus the myths about sexual abuse of children and the devastating emotional and financial effects it has on us and our country. Perhaps that is why it’s just easier to say “Why don’t you just get over it? That was so long ago” I suppose that question is more manageable than entertaining the possibility that CSA (Child Sexual Abuse) is happening in every community across this country. And that it has been for many years now.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:
“Childhood abuse, neglect, and exposure to other traumatic stressors which we term adverse childhood experiences (ACE) are common. Almost two-thirds of our study participants reported at least one ACE, and more than one of five reported three or more ACE. The short and long-term outcomes of these childhood exposures include a multitude of health and social problems.
ACE Study Pyramid
The ACE Study uses the ACE Score, which is a count of the total number of ACE respondents reported. The ACE Score is used to assess the total amount of stress during childhood and has demonstrated that as the number of ACE increase, the risk for the following health problems increases in a strong and graded fashion:
- Alcoholism and alcohol abuse
- Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
- Depression
- Fetal death
- Health-related quality of life
- Illicit drug use
- Ischemic heart disease (IHD)
- Liver disease
- Risk for intimate partner violence
- Multiple sexual partners
- Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)
- Smoking
- Suicide attempts
- Unintended pregnancies
- Early initiation of smoking
- Early initiation of sexual activity
- Adolescent pregnancy”
If you want to know what your ACE Score is, I am attaching a couple of links below. I scored a 6, but never underestimate human resiliency and our ability to heal, truly heal ourselves and others. And remember our goal is to re-create healthy, safe, educated children who know they have a right to their personal boundaries. We are talking to children in age appropriate language to help them know they have the right to say no, and they have the right to tell an adult if they are being abused.
Now that you know what your ACE Score is, where do you go from there?
The ACE Study and your inner child
http://www.americasangel.org/research/adverse-childhood-experiences-ace-study/
The U.S. pays approximately $550 BILLION a year dealing with the after effects of abuse and trauma as a child. One in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually molested by their 18th birthday. In reality, well over 80% of all sexual abuse is NEVER reported. Doesn’t it make sense for us to focus on prevention?
According to a study by Dr. David Finkelhor, close to two-thirds of all child victims may not tell their parents or anyone else because the fear of being blamed, punished or not believed. When I was sexually molested as a child, I disassociated. As a young child I did not have the words or understanding to tell anyone. I just knew something very bad had happened but I wasn’t able to tell anyone when I was a child. It wasn’t until later in my life that my abuse came to the light of the day within my own family.
The bottom line is that no child (male or female) should ever be abused by ANYONE. Sexual abuse and other maltreatment inflicted upon our world’s children has created the very problems that exist in the world we now live in. The sexual abuse of children is one of the most intimate, stigmatized and demoralized forms of violence in our world.
As an adult survivor of abuse and trauma, many of us are walking around with wounded souls. How can we begin to teach our own children about kindness and love and empathy, when so many of us have not known that we can rescue our own inner child? As adults we have many choices. Here are a couple:
- we can abandon our inner child
- we can go within and take their hand. Let them know they are safe, loved, and that you will never let them be hurt again. You become the parent of your own inner child.
Finding your Inner Child
Adult survivors of childhood abuse are finding their voices. There are well over 42 Million of us in the US alone. And together, we are speaking our truth, and letting go of a shame and guilt that was NEVER ours to carry. Eventually, the reality of this epidemic will reach the consciousness of our society and see the light of day. One way or another, we will be forced to deal with it, either voluntary and preemptive or reactionary and still in denial.
Personally, I would much rather be proactive. I’m comfortable talking about the subject matter, but understand that it is a very difficult and uncomfortable thing for many people to talk about and to hear.
There is hope. There are solutions. Not only are we healing ourselves by speaking our truth, we are preventing children from ever being molested in the first place. By speaking our truths, we are letting young adults know that they are not alone. They do not have to fight this battle by themselves.
The time for silence has ended.
What a beautiful sound it will be when the world hears our strong voices united in our truth. I am One.
We are One.
- Randa Fox
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