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What should really scare parents about Netflix’s “13 Reasons Why” isn’t the teenage suicide [Quartz.co]

 

Hannah Baker has killed herself.

So begins Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why, a searing, melancholic 13-episode television series based off Jay Asher’s young adult novel of the same name, and produced in part by singer and actress Selena Gomez. The premise: Before committing suicide, a teenage girl records a number of cassette tapes calling out the role that other students at her high school had in driving her to the brink. After her death, her classmates are forced, one by one, to listen to them. Netflix doesn’t release ratings, but since its premiere a month ago, 13 Reasons Why has become the most-tweeted-about show of the year.

That’s in no small part because it’s the most controversial. While some viewers are utterly aghast at the show’s graphic and occasionally cavalier treatment of suicide, others praise its sharp exposé of teenage pain and declare it a “must-see” for young people. Variety’s Maureen Ryan admired the show for subverting the exploitative trope of the tragic dead girl, while feminist writer Ijeoma Olou wrote that the show “Scared the Shit Out Of Me, And It Should Scare You Too”—arguing that her 15-year-old son is essentially watching a “how-to” guide glorifying suicide as a successful method of revenge.



[For more of this story, written by Amy X. Wang, go to https://qz.com/970701/what-sho...the-teenage-suicide/]

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I don't agree with your assessment, Amy.  Not even a little.  I hope others don't buy it.  As someone that works in the trenches with teenagers and has extensive training and first hand experience of what goes on in the lives of teenagers, parent absenteeism - in the way Hannah's parents appear clueless - ain't it.  In fact, Hannah's parents represent the best of what attached parenting looks like in the life of a 16 year old.  They are invested in their kids, they attempt to have family time together (e.g. family meals), they notice when something is wrong (e.g. Clay's parents trying to connect with him - regularly).  For these reasons, I solidly reject your assessment of the circumstance because it feeds an anxiety that is perpetuated in our culture - parents need to hover and insert themselves even MORE in order to be "good parents."  Truthfully, it's natural, developmental, and healthy for teens to be moving away from their parents emotionally, psychologically and in physical proximity.  What teens need and benefit from greatly are healthy, consistent and trustworthy adults - other than their parents.  I am only on the fifth episode, but I have yet to see the kids connect with and confide in any trusted teacher, coach, counselor, administrator, etc.  As a student assistance counselor at ConVal high school, I know the underbelly of what teens experience.  A lot of what the show depicts is right on the money.  With that said, many of my teens have come to me to discuss the series and I welcome those discussions.  So far, I am welcoming the series because it's further augmenting my student's reflection on the culture they create in their gendered roles.  It also has them thinking hard about the role technology plays in defining their social landscape.  So please, don't blame the parents.  Like I said before, we don't need our parents to hover more and fear letting go.  We need our educators and the adults that work with teens to understand the power of leaning into deeper connection with our kids.  Our teens are seeking adult connection, it just ain't with mom and dad.  And that's okay!

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