+What matters most - what we now call attachment

Hi Tina - I am not certain to what you are responding, exactly, here.  No thoughts on my end about anything you say sounding "mean!"  Here we are -- on the same page -- after ALL we have lived through until this moment.  That alone is a miracle to me.  Life is full of them.

What are you asking here?  "Are you okay with that?"  I feel I am missing something!!

Hi Linda, 

We care.  We on ACEs care.  I know I do!!!. 

You know things are getting better. ACEsconnection exists... Wow awesome... Jane is the best...... When I am at my worst, she is always at her best... she never berates me and I know she cares... You cannot ask for more than a place where we are all working to make this world better for kids (w/attachment trauma whether disorganized, avoidant, or ambivalent).     We are sisters and brothers.  We are one --- one voice speaking to the world that either doesn't know or the world that wants to sleep in a deep slumber unnumbered by the painful past.  I care, I am there. We work together to prevent the tragedy that occurred to us.... But we must deal..... What is most important  to me in the Present is prevention of the same to the future generations...

Are you okay with that?   I hope that doesn't sound mean.... I am not trying to be mean... But what happened to us did... What we can do is educate and prevent the damage to the future....

LT.....

Thank you for the really good article (and yes I read it after adding this part of the post )---- Honesty best policy --- I am feeling anger---I don't like feeling angry all the time.. but I am feeling that a can move to a better place.... I don't want to feel angry... When I read what you write.... I see me.... you write as I feel.. cool.... I am not in a NICE place right now.. but that is the goal.... 

You were hurt very badly. No one was there when you needed someone... That is a terrible place to be.....I know... I have the same experience... BUT if i am wrong --- just let me know....  Linda ACEs is not just a place where academics meet..... 

It is a place where hurt people do our best to love each other...... Gosh do I feel like I don't deserve love..

I don't say that for "poor me" in fact it is career disabling.. potentially... but the truth is the truth and reality is reality....... 

Vulnerability sucks for us... it does for me... I think it does for you too.........

You have so many cool links!!!!!!!!

Lets work with Jane and we can write up something together that she will post in the daily digest... What do you think???

I just goggled 'child abuse migraines' - and thanks to living in this advancing techno world found many responses including this one

Child Abuse And Neglect Make Kids More Likely To Grow Up

Hey Hi, 

Hope you are well. I have been working on a presentation for "trauma-informed" schools that I need to do on Thursday.   I note that for years I was looking for something online to help with early childhood attachment trauma (disorganized).  You are a little older than I am and so I can only imagine your difficulty finding any information. I know this was a major frustration that I had because there truly was nothing and I believe that is because our society wants to ignore the fact of trauma experience. Now we are happily moving (though too slowly for my liking) towards recognizing trauma.  Schools can be a place for trauma healing. I am happy for this. When I went to school the bus was a place of trauma (in fact a sibling of a friend of mine --- tormented so much on the bus... took his life at 13 or so and then the family moved away and I was really sad). It was you are scum, you are trash, "don't stand by me".  Kids can be really mean and we even as a child (at least me) gravitated towards those as dirty and unkempt as myself.. I really understood the pain.. A member on ACEs stated something like (paraphrasing here) that major injustice creates a plague in the soul that annoys others.... I totally got this wrong.... but that made me think. For my entire life I have hated injustice, injustice that I personally experienced simply because I was poor and dirty.... Sometimes I was dirty because I didn't not want to go into the bath because my weird dad would sit on the trailer toilet and watch me and my sister bathe..... He also made comments about our bodies... We were young pre-pubescent kids.... So at times I had an opportunity to take a bath... but wouldn't (and I was lucky because I wasn't made to after a time - I think because I would start to freak out except that I couldn't freak out or I would have been beaten --- so instead my migraines got so bad that I "couldn't take a bath".   I had real migraines and vomited all the time... I think my subconscious was trying to protect me... My mom wouldn't make me take a bath when I had migraines.. I really couldn't because I was puking everywhere....

Migraine was my best friend.... That sounds crazy... but migraine was and it wasn't purposeful or was anything that I think I could control.... But whenever I had migraine (the only time my mom ever took me to a doc and they got bad after I saw my grandmother killed) I didn't have to be around my dad (I had to sleep - I had real pain).  But when I went to college and got away from my parents, my migraines disappeared. They come occasionally when I am really stressed but I had childhood migraines with photophobia, phono phobia, severe pain. I would take a belt or a rope and tie it as tight as I could around my head and find a dark place to go to sleep.  Isn't that amazing? I developed this HORRIBLE headache as a prepubescent (and they were real - my mom was convinced I had a brain tumor) to escape my dad. It worked. I didn't think at all about this working... I was stressed .. I am traumatized, I am trying to survive "I cannot hear you".  But I could always go to school.  Even though I was tormented there too.  Blah, blah... 

Amazing to me what the body will do and docs don't know. Migraine is a medical disease. In my case, migraine was a trauma result. I think that is really interesting.... T

And today

+MY MORNING’S THOUGHTS ABOUT “ATTACHMENT”

I sent this info to my daughter who works with a federally funded (research and service) program in rural North Dakota to provide services to at risk mothers, mostly on the Reservations.  She responded to me -- "This is one of the evidence-based home visiting programs we could choose from in miechv. However, it utilizes RNS which is too difficult to staff/expensive for rural areas like the reservations."

Health of mothers and infants is NOT a priority in the USA.

In so many areas, especially in rural America, there is a scary shortage of nurses.  Someone would need to find super long-term funding to pay for these efforts, to attract and keep the nurses in regions such as those that exist here in rural North Dakota.

a nurse...

a mental health counselor..

a social worker..

a mom..

a best friend...

Impressive, Leif.  Will pass on wherever I can!  thank you

For almost 40 years, we have what I would say is the least known, most valuable organization in the world today. The Nurse Family Partnership. 

Randomized Control trials
http://www.nursefamilypartnership.org/proven-results

Read what the media has to say about their work.
http://www.nursefamilypartners...y-endorsements/Media

Take any population, any socio-economic population, any race, any group of people. from that group you  now choose the ones that need the most help. Thats what NFP does.
Almost 40 years of the following numbers:
48% reduction in child abuse and neglect
59% reduction in arrest among children
72% fewer convistions for mothers
67% reduction in behavioural problems among children

source:
http://www.nursefamilypartners...itable-organizations