I was at my dentists office the other day when I heard the assistant, I’ll call her Emily, talking with the office receptionist. Emily asked her boyfriend to buy an anxiety cube. My ears perked up when I heard the word “anxiety” so I asked how the cube worked and if she suffered with a lot of anxiety. She smiled sheepishly nodding yes. I told her I was a psychotherapist and asked if she wanted me to share a bit of education that might help. She and the office receptionist both nodded yes.
I shared that, “Anxiety is really a cue that we have one or more underlying core emotions, like sadness, anger, fear and even excitement, pushing up for expression. Emotions get blocked by anxiety when we previously learned from our culture or from our families that the emotion was not welcomed. For example, if when we showed fear to our father, he told us not to be so weak, we’d learn not to show fear less we would also be humiliated on top of afraid. Instead we experience anxiety. So anxiety is really a signal that tells us to look for underlying core emotions coming up.”
The look on their faces was something close to enthralled. “Wow. That really resonates,” the receptionist said. I gave them my card with my writing website and invited them to check out some of my articles and You Tube videos to learn more about emotions. I thought it would help, I told them.
Everyone has anxiety. It’s part of being human. And, it’s important to understand the relationship between core emotions and anxiety because it equips us with knowledge to first and foremost not judge our self and second to have tools to help diminish anxiety when we notice it.
I love The Change Triangle because, among other things, it helps us identify the core emotions underneath our anxiety. We can then work with core emotions to not only reduce anxiety, but listen to what our core emotions are trying to tell us so we can survive and thrive as best as possible under our individual circumstances. After all, that’s why humans have core emotions to begin with. They are, in fact, a compass for living.
Unfortunately, our schools and communities don’t yet educate people on emotions, anxiety and how they are related. It’s on us to find information and educate ourselves. Knowledge is power. And when it comes to anxiety and emotions this is doubly true.
If you are interested to learn more about how to use your emotions for good, look for my book on The Change Triangle, It's Not Always Depression, coming soon on February 6th in the USA and February 8th in the UK.
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