Sitting in the lobby area outside a courtroom I felt the tension and anxiety of children and adults who were waiting for their turn to meet with the judge. They were waiting to understand their immigration status in the United States. As I watched the children and adults converse with each other, the door to the courtroom abruptly swung open and a young child crying in front of a police officer walked towards me. The officer asked if the child could sit next to me. I said yes and heard the child cry, “I want my Mommy.” The officer tried to assure the child that her mother would be out soon. However, his words did not seem to console the child and the child began to sob.
At first, I felt helpless. Then, I asked the child if she wanted a tissue. She nodded as I reached for the tissue. She looked at me through her tears and asked, “Is my Mommy coming back?” I felt my heart drop and said, “The officer said your Mommy would be out soon.” That moment I hoped I was not lying to her. I only took the word of the officer and repeated it back to the child.
After a few minutes, the child looked at me and said, “I know American. I am 5 years old.” “That is wonderful,” I said awkwardly. She seemed to be somewhat comfortable to talk to me and said, “My Mommy wants to stay here with me.” She wiped her tears streaming down her cheek with the tissue I gave to her. Then she said, “Mommy said we will be safe here.” I felt both sad and relieved for her. I wondered what she and her mother experienced coming to the United States. I heard, read, and watched the videos of the children who were taken at our U.S. border. I wondered what this 5-year-old from another country who was sitting next to me in this courtroom would have experienced at our U.S. border. I hesitated to ask the question:
What does a 5-year-old experience when she and her mother arrive at the U.S. border?
A 5-year-old sees her mother handcuffed by a U.S. Immigration officer.
- hears her mother plea, “Don’t take me from my child!”
- feels her mother’s hand pulled away from her own small hand by this U.S. Immigration officer while her mother is taken from her.
- screams desperately, “Mommy, come back!”
- cries and runs after her mother while another U.S. Immigration officer restrains her from her mother.
A 5-year-old sobs uncontrollably as she is taken and placed in a cage away from her mother.
What happens next to this 5-year-old is not a fairy tale. What happens next to this 5-year-old is a devastating reality that her mother has been taken from her and has disappeared from her life. This is not a drama. This is intentional trauma.
According to The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (2018), young children are profoundly impacted by traumatic events especially when their sense of safety is threatened and their support system is taken away from them. The impact of trauma with prolonged exposure to these events results in adverse childhood experiences and toxic stress in these young children.
Toxic stress is the “strong, frequent, or prolonged activation of the body’s stress response systems in the absence of the buffering protection of a supportive, adult relationship” (Shonkoff et al, 2012, p. 236). Without the safety, support, and care of her mother this 5-year-old will experience toxic stress.
Toxic stress can have a severe impact on a young child’s life such as affecting their physical and emotional health, brain development, healthy attachments, trust in relationships, and communication skills. When the delay of reunification between the 5-year-old and her mother is longer than expected, the greater are the effects of toxic stress on the 5-year-old. The effects of toxic stress on the 5-year-old can diminish her sense of safety and increase her fear of abandonment.
As I watched and listened to the 5-year-old who was sitting next to me in the courtroom, I wondered how toxic stress was affecting her. She seemed to have consoled herself with the tissue I gave to her and continued to tell me about her mother. One of the last things that she said with tears in her eyes was her mother saved her from “big men” who were trying to hurt her and her mother in the country she left. I felt many emotions as I listened to her.
I realized this 5-year-old told me her story through her eyes. What she wanted most of all was to be with her mother who would keep her safe, would support her and would care for her. She knew what she needed as a 5-year-old – her mother.
The courtroom door swung open abruptly and the 5-year-old ran and shouted, “Mommy! Mommy!” The 5-year-old wrapped her small body around a small woman who hugged her tightly. They were both crying. I was crying. This 5-year-old knew what she wanted – her mother.
References:
National Child Traumatic Stress Network (2018). Early Childhood Trauma. Retrieved July 27, 2018.
https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-...rly-childhood-trauma
Shonkoff, J. P., & Garner, A. S. Committee on Early Childhood, Adoption and Dependent Care (2012). The lifelong effects of
early childhood adversity and toxic stress. Pediatrics, 129(1).
Author: Luane Oprea, Ph.D., LPC, Assistant Professor of Counseling, Expert Witness in Child Abuse Cases, & Research Team Member of Initiative of Adverse Childhood Experiences and Trauma-Interdisciplinary Research Team
Trinity Washington University - Washington, D.C.
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