By Jenna Grace, PsychCentral, May 8, 2020
My PTSD symptoms have been off the hook during lockdown. Which is ironic because the door is closed. Locked down. There’s no freedom to come and go as we please. Which is making me feel trapped. Causing my body to act like a frightened animal. Alert. On edge. Ready to fight or to flee.
PTSD is among the most persistent of all six of my neurological disorders. It comes up most days quite strongly. Screaming for attention. Taking me hostage if I refuse to comply. Leaving me at the mercy of sounds. Of movement. Of people coming and going and creating unexpected smells and sounds. And with everyone at home, I’m never alone. Ever.
Even when I leave the house in our new tree-lined town (where I’d hoped the focus would be on enjoying nature), people want to make friends six feet apart. Chat. Engage. So when I’m struggling, I can’t leave the house like a timid animal (or like a rabid one) unless I want to show everyone my struggles. Or worse, try to hide them. Making me feel like I have nowhere to go but to stay in.
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