If you had trauma when you were little, I’m going to guess that you’ve made some really bad decisions in your life… strange self-sabotaging decisions about relationships, jobs, or the way you express yourself when you’re angry.
And you know you’re doing something that’s not right because the people around you are giving you that concerned, judgy face. Do you know that face I’m talking about?
But because of that agitation inside from past trauma, you can’t see in the moment that you’re making a terrible decision. So instead of pulling back to think, perhaps you blame the people judging you, thinking “They don’t understand me!”
And then you make that self-destructive choice anyway -- to move in with someone you just met, or marry someone who treats you badly, or go the other way and choose to isolate yourself, or to storm out of a job you actually liked and needed -- because your past trauma got triggered and you felt this urgent need to make the feeling stop. Have you done this?
These are the decisions that change the course of your life -- cut you off from what you want and keep you stuck, and in danger of even more trauma. I call these trauma-driven decisions: You thought you were doing the right thing, but your trauma was distorting your perception...
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