It’s good, healthy and human to want love and seek it out. Yet for some people, showing emotional needs may be linked to painful memories and experiences. As attachment research shows, people learn in early childhood whether to expect to feel safe or unsafe expressing emotional needs.
Feeling rejected, devalued or invisible for one’s human needs often triggers shame. These painful emotions may inhibit future efforts to connect. Those who experience their needs as ‘unacceptable’ may come to feel trapped with them. They may not realize that their desire to connect and find comfort are normal and healthy, and that their distress has a name — trauma.
A person with attachment trauma may cling to the idea of being “better off alone” like a life preserver. They may have learned to cope by developing beliefs such as:
[For more on this story by @Robyn Brickel, M.A., LMFT, go to https://pro.psychcentral.com/t...ma-informed-therapy/]
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