My dear friends, I just survived one of the most intense ordeals of my life. A series of traumas - one after the other over the past two years - have threatened to level me in a way that is reminiscent of the Perfect Storm that led me to leave medicine ten years ago. That Perfect Storm fundamentally transformed my life, resulting in a quantum leap in my consciousness, my career, my relationships, my spiritual journey, and how I live my life. I can only assume this one will as well. But damn ... it's been painful.
Because it is my practice to expose my vulnerability and use even my most uncomfortable stories as an alchemical teaching tool, I intended to tell you all the detailed stories of the traumas. But after consultation with my mentors, concern about exposing my daughter Siena to details she's not yet ready to hear, and deep inner reflection, I've decided to focus instead on how I'm handling the traumas, with prayers that those of you healing from trauma yourself might find medicine in my story.
Like many people who experience a great shock trauma, my immediate reaction to this series of traumas was to withdraw from life, to curl up into a frozen ball of fear, grief, shame, panic, and despair. It took every ounce of strength inside of me to resist the temptation to isolate myself from the very people who I knew could help me through this crisis. I didn't want to talk to anybody. I didn't want to leave my bedroom. I didn't want to eat and couldn't sleep. I was experiencing all but one of the DSM-5 symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But, I knew that for the sake of my daughter, I would need to muster up the courage to reach out and seek help.
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