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Stop caving in! πŸ’ͺ

When you search for "childhood innocence", you get a lot of images of children with animals, children staring wide eyed, children in nature. A personal favorite I ran across was this one as I couldn't help but see myself in it



I touched on this theme a bit in a recent Year of Self-Care video (you can watch it here if you missed it), and I recently had a conversation with Lisa Smith, author of Restored Innocence, on the topic as well.

Something I love that Lisa says in the opening of her book is:

"Knowledge, understanding, and experiences lessen an individual's innocence as they journey through life. All of us are hurt emotionally and physically...While we may bear the scars of those wounds, whether literal scars or emotional ones, I believe we can have our innocence restored to us....Another use of the word 'restore' is to return something to its rightful owner...I believe innocence can be restored. Those feelings of confidence, freedom, and joyful hope..."

Let's add to it an exploration of the definition of the word itself ... "lack of guile or corruption". That word guile jumped out at me --- not a word that we see in common use a lot. Guile means sly or cunning and a synonym is "maneuvers".

That brings me to this thought:

Innocence = joyful hope
Lack of innocence = sly maneuvering


Sit with that for a moment --- thing about that shift in your own life from wide-eyed hopeful, unquestioning joy to trying to manage yourself (and others) through all kinds of maneuvering.

Think of it this way:

Lack of innocence = Everyone is out to get me, so I must control all things
Innocence = I can learn to count on others and set boundaries

Lack of innocence = I am damaged, so I must please others to make sure they don't figure it out
Innocence = There is nothing I've experienced that takes away the heart of who I am

Lack of innocence = People will always hurt me, so I must constantly think ahead and test the people in my life
Innocence = I can be present and enjoy the moment

I would say a very big chunk of the work I've had to do personally and that I support my clients in is cultivating a mindset that supports a return to innocence.

Cue Enya's song "Return to Innocence!

I find it fascinating that everything is done in reverse in the video. I love the symbolism of that ... and check out these lyrics:

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence

That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence


Hello!!!??? So on point.

So listen .... life has taught you some tough lessons. I know it. I get it. But don't you dare cave to the messages of those who harmed you.

You are the rightful owner of your mind, body, and spirit --- to hell with what anyone else says!

Here's to returning to yourself,

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Please read the article, including this quote below.

"It’s also worth looking at how the popular conception of self-care could be fundamentally flawed, asking individuals to find solace, comfort, and rest within the same systems that have exhausted them in the first place. As organizers, researchers, and reporting have pointed out, collective care, including mutual aid, is critical to solving systemic issues that throw up barriers to care for too many people in the first place. It thwarts the hyper-individualism that a specific kind of self-care encourages."

https://forge.medium.com/the-p...re-myth-3c7609428315

Last edited by Jane Stevens
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