I’m going to tell you the cure for Attachment Disorder and its many related ills in this simple two-part blog. But as the good witch Glenda told Dorothy, you won’t believe me until you experience it for yourself.
I recently spent several weeks absorbing an astonishing talk by therapist Dr. Tara Brach (left), “Releasing Barriers to Unconditional Loving.” A good way to start experiencing cure would be to watch this. [Click here for video]
“Enlightenment,” she begins, quoting Zen master Dōgen, “is just Intimacy With All Things.”
“Just,” Tara laughs. This shrink’s crazy, I say to myself. Yikes, I’m supposed to let All That inside me and be intimate? “Intimacy!” she dances on, “Intimacy with the Life inside you. Intimacy with someone at work… Intimacy with a cousin or a sister… with the person sitting next to you even if you don’t know them. What does it mean? What’s the quality of heart?
“Intimacy with the squirrels that eat the bird seed at the feeder… intimacy with the weeds…intimacy with the wind. Can you begin to sense the quality of openness, of awake-ness, of tenderness, that unconditionally makes room? The “heart space” where Everything That Is, is welcome? Intimacy is our potential to realize, and trust, and live from, Loving Presence.
“It’s also a need. We need Love, to develop in a healthy way. We need a certain amount of loving attention, intimacy, loving presence from others, for our neurons to grow. Research shows that even rat pups who don’t get enough attention, don’t grow as many neuron synapses.
“So we have a longing for love and we flourish when love is there, when there’s a sense of belonging. The poet Hafez says: ‘The subject tonight is love, and tomorrow night as well. As a matter of fact there’ no better topic to discuss, until we all die ‘.” “When you figure out love is all that matters after all,” says Carrie Underwood, “it makes everything else seem so small.”
Yikes again, did she just put meditation together with attachment love from a good mom, as if it were the same thing? This shrink’s crazy. She doesn’t bother to say we need someone else to do it, or specifically with us. She just says we need loving intimacy and she’s calling that Attachment. To her it’s the most natural transition in the world – but to me it’s like jumping over the Grand Canyon.
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