Self-care, a term that began to be used in the 1950s, has become a very important concept in today’s post-COVID-19 reality. The use of the terms wellness, self-care, and self care reflect the growing interest in these concepts over the last 70 years.
(Google Ngram Viewer, n.d.)
Those individuals who work in relationship-intense professions are especially vulnerable to experiencing vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue. This includes the realm of ministry. Pastors and other faith community leaders are often called upon by their fellowship members and the community abroad to assist those in need physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.
What Self-Care Is Not
Often, especially in the more traditional and fundamental religious communities, self-care is equated with selfishness. A quick visit to word definition resources reminds us that there is a difference between the two concepts. Selfishness, according to dictionary.com, involves a person “lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure” (Selfish - Google Search, n.d.). Self-care, on the other hand, is “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health” (Self Care Definition - Google Search, n.d.).
Another resource informs us that “Being selfish means there’s a desire to take from others, often to their detriment. However, self-care is about replenishing your resources without depleting someone else’s. Self-care is a means of restoring your own energy, which promotes healthy physical and emotional wellbeing” (Is Self-Care Selfish? - Restorative Counseling Chicago, n.d.).
The understanding of the difference between selfishness and self-care is most important in religious communities that may be hesitant to embrace the concept of caring for themselves. Throughout the Bible, there is support for it. Jesus himself took time as recorded in Mark 1:35 where we read “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed” (New International Version). Additionally, Mark also records Jesus’ command “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:30-31 New International Version). The fact that the heart, soul, mind, and strength are mentioned indicates that all aspects of self must be considered and tended to.
What Self-care Is
Faith community leaders are generally known to be caring, concerned, and committed individuals. Dr. Charles Figley called “compassion fatigue a disorder that affects those who do their job well” (Françoise Mathieu, n.d., p. 1). There are two phases that are beneficial when considering a self-care plan.
First, it is important to be able to recognize when one needs time for oneself. Mathieu (2007) shares twelve self-care tips to help those in helping professions.
- Take Stock – What’s on your plate?
- Start a Self-Care Idea Collection
- Find time for yourself every day – Rebalance your workload
- Delegate – learn to ask for help at home and at work [in this case, at church]
- Have a transition from work [church] to home
- Learn to say no (or yes) more often
- Assess your Trauma Inputs
- Learn more about Compassion Fatigue and Vicarious Trauma
- Consider Joining a Supervision/Peer Support Group
- Attend Workshops/Professional Training Regularly
- Consider working part time (at this type of job)
- Exercise
(pp. 1–7).
It could be said that part of a faith community leader’s job is to take care of themselves. Time must be incorporated into the schedule to allow for self-care, and subsequently be a role model for the faith community. It is in balance and wholeness that spiritual health can be fully realized.
The second important step in self-care is to build resilience. Resilience makes the difference between successful ministry and compassion fatigue, resulting in personal challenges and faith community limitations. A helpful resource is The three secrets of resilient people (Hone, 2020). This 15-minute TEDx Christchurch YouTube video provides viewers with Hone’s personal life story of loss and the steps she used to increase resilience. These essential concepts are that one must realize that trouble comes to all people. Hone encourages us to own this concept and rather than ask “Why me, ask why not me?” The second secret she shares is that we must identify what can be changed and what cannot be changed. Continually attempting to alter that which cannot be modified results only in tiredness and hopelessness. Finally, her instruction to ask ourselves if what we are doing is helping or not points to the often-needed reality check. If what we are doing is not helping, it’s time to change actions!
One area of challenge for many faith leaders is developing and keeping friendships. This is not because they are difficult people to like or get along with, but because they often experience many relocations across their careers. The importance of peer relationships and confidence is revealed in many studies related to mental health. These relationships must include activities apart from the work or church environment and allow open sharing and support in two-direction models. (Skovholt & Trotter-Mathison, 2016, p. 276). The theme regarding stress experience, when one is stressed because of experiences that challenge their sense of competency, is also extremely applicable to faith leaders. (Skovholt & Trotter-Mathison, 2016, p. 233).
In this time of uncertainty, it is more important than ever for faith leaders to practice healthy, whole-person self-care. It is then that they can fully support the faith community both by modeling the practices and by retaining enough energy and compassion to meet the needs they are confronted with on a daily, sometimes moment-by-moment basis.
References
Françoise Mathieu, B. (n.d.). Transforming Compassion Fatigue into Compassion Satisfaction: Top 12 Self-Care Tips for Helpers. www.isu.edu/~bhstamm/tests.htm.
Google Ngram Viewer. (n.d.). Retrieved August 17, 2023, from https://books.google.com/ngram...019&smoothing=3#
Hone, L. (2020). The three secrets of resilient people. TEDxChristchurc - YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWH8N-BvhAw
Is Self-Care Selfish? - Restorative Counseling Chicago. (n.d.). Retrieved August 17, 2023, from https://rcchicago.org/self-care/
self care definition - Google Search. (n.d.). Retrieved August 17, 2023, from https://www.google.com/search?...sclient=gws-wiz-serp
selfish - Google Search. (n.d.). Retrieved August 17, 2023, from https://www.google.com/search?...=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Skovholt, T. M., & Trotter-Mathison, M. (2016). The Resilient Practitioner (3rd ed.). Routledge.
Comments (0)