Secure Attachment Style in Adulthood: How It Affects Your Life and Relationships

Shirley Davis (Guest) 2/7/209:00 AM

By Shirley Davis, CPTSD Foundation, Oct 8, 2018

Have you ever wondered what is the motivating force it that relates to how you behave in intimate relationships and how you treat your children? Have you asked yourself how you choose the relationships that you attracted to?

The leading theory in psychology today is called Attachment Theory, and for the next several weeks in October, we are going to explore it and its consequences in depth.

Attachment refers to the way we relate to other people. There are four types of attachment, secure, avoidant, anxious and disorganized. Which kind of attachment style you have as an adult is directly linked to our parenting in early childhood. Knowing your style of attachment can help you understand your behavior and offer ways to mitigate the harmful effects if your style is not favorable.

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For more information on CPTSD, including resources and materials to help in healing and living with Complex PTSD symptoms, head over to CPTSDfoundation.org.

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Laura Haynes CollectorMember

Dear People on ACES Connection: please pay attention to attachment and early life.

If you suffer from childhood trauma, or if you help formerly-traumatized people: the very heart of the most serious early damage (or early resilience) is RIGHT HERE. Attachment is the magic anti-ACE and mal-attachment magnifies every official ACE.

ACEs are great predictors of later mental/physical disease in part because they cluster together with early childhood mal-attachment. (If your dad is violent, if your Mom is an alcoholic, these factors have probably been devastating to the attachment relationship since well before your family presented at an ACE-aware clinic.)

In general ACEs are like a sorting hat for stable, attached homes and unstable, overstressed mal-attached homes.

You may think info about babies is not relevant to prisons, substance abuse, recovery, etc but mal-attachment is very relevant to addiction: the addict has attached to a drug where attachment to people is not available (see Dr Gabor Mate). It is very relevant to the prison population and the lack of emotional self regulation and impulse control among inmates.

2/8/208:24 AM

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