"I have something to give you," she said as she withdrew these rocks from her purse. "Remember when we did that activity with writing the negative things we believed about our self? These are from that activity; I saved them. I've held on to them and felt the heaviness of them. But I don't need them anymore - I've shifted these beliefs, they don't belong to me!"
AWESOME! With tears, we celebrated and congratulated her! A victim of childhood sex abuse, she is well on her way to conquering the impact and becoming who she was created capable of being.
Sex abuse is not who you are. And yet, victims adopt it as identity. "I am a victim of sex abuse." No, sex abuse happened to you, but it does not define you! Utilizing the tools of Restoration, you can be restored to your authentic identity and shift how you relate to your life. The core tools are:
Recognize: Work on hearing what you say and what you do that stems from trauma, and see the impact of sex abuse playing out in your life. Recognize your self-talk. Recognize what you believe about your self and others. Recognize patterns of behavior. Recognize the negative messages and the positive messages you receive.
Power of Agreement: Whatever you agree with, your energy and focus empowers. You do not have to agree with damaging self condemnation. They aren't truth - they were born from trauma. You have the power to shift from aligning with negative beliefs to aligning with positive beliefs. Discover and agree with the truth of who you are and all you are capable of.
Internalize: That means you intentionally make a part of your thinking the positives and the truths necessary to defeat the thinking that negates and hurts you. You have to breath into your belief systems the truth that will set you free from damaging impact. Just like an antibiotic that must be swallowed to heal, so must you take in healing truth.
Exchange: When you've recognized the negative, and been exposed to the alternate positives, you consciously exchange the old for the new. You release the negative and in its place deposit the positive.
Responsibility: Ultimately, no book, no suggestion, and no therapist can do the work of conquering the impact of trauma. Only you can. You have to take responsibility to do this hard work.
In your authentic identity lies the power to accomplish what your heart desires to accomplish. That identity is not lost, only submerged under the impact of trauma. You absolutely can shift this!
Tools to help you in restoration: www.connectionssp.org
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