I'm going to tell you something that is hard to believe. Psychologists can predict what kind of parents we'll be by how we talk about childhood.
Attachment between parent and child refers to the pattern of communication and quality of relationship in which a child feels safe and secure and believes that his or her needs will be met. Secure attachment impacts a child's ability to self-regulate and to make less risky decisions when he's older. The more that a parent-to-be has developed the ability to be resilient to life's setbacks and has been self-reflective enough to work through their own childhood experiences, the better parent he'll likely be and the less behavioral problems his children are likely to have. Parents who understand their own past are more capable of taking steps to foster the resilience needed while raising their own children. (See the steps I recommend below.)
The adult attachment interview, developed by a team of psychologists in the 1980s, is a one-hour interview about an adult's childhood experiences. The interview questions aren't so much geared toward what happened to us growing up -- we've all had some sort of struggle -- but rather our ability to tell a coherent, authentic narrative about our own childhood. Basically, whether or not the words match the music.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nancy-rappaport/resilience_b_5332402.html
Comments (0)