Just as there are many different types of therapists with many varying qualifications, finding one that meets your needs may take time and be frustrating. However, if you understand the qualities that make a great therapist you stand a better chance of lowering the probability of not forming a good therapeutic alliance.
In this article, you will find a partial list of the qualities of a great therapist.
The Therapist is Willing to be Validating. Validation doesn’t just mean the therapist accepts and acknowledges your emotions and feelings, but that they believe in your ability to grow, and change. This perspective is vital, as you may lack the ability to believe these things about yourself.
Another critical component to psychotherapy is that your therapist must believe in your ability to heal. If your therapist sees you as a “lost cause” or as a threat to their reputation, it will translate to you non-verbally even if they never say a word. Their posture, facial expressions, and other body movements that are entirely subconscious on their part will be recognized by your internal referencing system.
If you find yourself in a situation with a therapist where you are not healing like you believe you should, do not hesitate to ask the important questions. These include, “Do you believe I will heal?” or “Are you not believing I can move on from the effects of my trauma and my diagnosis of DID?”
Asking these questions and others will help both you and your therapist have a deep and honest discussion about their beliefs on your healing.
Your Therapist Attempts to Understand Your World. There can be many differences in the upbringing of you are your therapist. Some are obvious, such as religion and minority, others are less obvious such as sexual orientation and family of origin dysfunctions.
A great Therapist will seek to lay aside their own biases to work well with you. An example might be if your therapist is a Catholic, and you are an avowed Atheist. Your therapist will not change themselves into an Atheist, but they will also not try to push their religious beliefs onto you.
Although licensed therapists of all types receive training to recognize and treat childhood trauma, it can be extremely difficult if they did not experience it themselves. This is where empathy comes in, which I will describe in detail later.
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