By P. Berman K. Hecht & A. Hosack
I need to make her anxious. I need her to wonder if I’m still interested in her.
Craig had been thinking about his conversation with Claire as he continued his bus journey home. He was very attracted to her, but she hadn’t shown enough interest in him. He needed to observe for more and decide what his next step would be. He needed to develop his plan carefully. At this point, the only thing Craig knew about Claire, was that she got on to the bus two stops after his.
It was time to find out more. The bus followed a long straight line down the road. He left work early the next day and walked down to the bus stop he guessed was hers. He saw there was a coffee shop close by and he went in and sat by the window where he could see out to the bus stop. He ordered coffee and waited.
It was tiring work, to just stare out at the same spot but he was finally rewarded. Claire was exiting the very building where he was sitting in. She went straight to the bus stop and sat down. He noticed that she didn’t say a word to the woman who was already sitting on the bench waiting for the bus. He watched and waited. At the bus stop, four people were now waiting as the bus pulled up. Claire hadn’t said a word to anyone.
She isn’t a talker. She wasn’t just avoiding talking to me.
Craig allowed the bus to take off without him; he was feeling good. He would let her wonder if she would ever see him again. He ordered his dinner at the coffee shop and ate slowly with a smile. He was thinking about Claire and how beautiful her hair was and how much he would enjoy touching it. Maybe as soon as next week?
Claire was hoping to see Craig, but she hadn’t expected to find him at her bus stop. She recognized all the other people who regularly waited for the bus at the same stop she used. When she got on the bus, she looked for a seat where she would be alone. She intentionally put her purse down next to her to discourage other people from sitting down next to her. Claire assumed Craig’s bus stop was one or two after hers. She had no idea he had been watching her prior to his coming to sit down next to her.
The motion of the bus put her into a familiar fog. It had been a long day with many patients who were afraid of having their teeth worked on. Claire had been proud of herself that she had remained patient throughout the day. In the back of her mind, there was a smile because she hoped she would be seeing Craig again. Each time the bus stopped, she looked up at the open door, but Craig never came on.
The seasons were changing. It was very dark outside the lights of the bus. Claire was very disappointed not to see Craig on the bus. Would she have been pleased if she had known he had been looking for where she worked? If Craig could see her now, would he feel Claire was interested enough for him to make another move towards a date?
I guess it was an accident. He doesn’t follow the same schedule as me.
It made Claire sad to think she would never see Craig again. But then again, she didn’t know yet if he was a safe person to date so maybe it was just as well.
Both Claire and Craig want to meet again.
Is there anything Claire should be doing differently?
Is anything about Craig’s behavior bothering you?
According to a “flirtologist” presenting on TedTalk, some tactics work better than others at find a date you are truly compatible with. To hear her advice go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cQoGNEcc5Q
Do you think her advice works as well with a “safe” versus an “unsafe date?”
This blog tells the fictional story of Claire and her son Davy; it will give you a window into Claire’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior. The people in this blog were created by Dr. Pearl Berman based on her thirty years of experience in the field of child abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, and exploitation. If there are any similarities between the people discussed in the blog, and actual people who are living or deceased this is coincidental. To catch up on old posts or start from the beginning you can find Claire's Story at https://pearlsberman.com/blog
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