Parentification: Growing Up Too Soon

@Rene DValery posted:

What an amazing article!  It summarizes, in a very elegant way, the plight of the parentified child.  This is much appreciated.. especially because its not only descriptive, but gives steps to take.  Thank you!!!

Thank you so much Rene for your kind words!

@Regina Lane posted:

Thank you for your willingness to share and help others recognize the value of childhood trauma at this level that often goes unnoticed.

Looking forward to seeing and hearing more of your series.

There’s a former chiropractor who produced a book called “Self-Parenting” by John Pollard who discovered a process on how to reset this past trauma through inner conversations. In addition to this Colin Tipping produced a series of books specifically to heal the past through “Radical Forgiveness.” A very power and life-changing process. 

Breaking the cycle is key to a deeper healing circle ⭕️ within broken families cross-culture. 

Keep up the great work!

Thank you so much Regina for your kind words and for pointing me to these resources I am eager to check out. 

Best,

Miriam 

@Leslie Schwartz Leff posted:

So simple, yet so profound, helpful and validating. Thank you!

Thank you so much Leslie!

So simple, yet so profound, helpful and validating. Thank you!

Thank you for your willingness to share and help others recognize the value of childhood trauma at this level that often goes unnoticed.

Looking forward to seeing and hearing more of your series.

There’s a former chiropractor who produced a book called “Self-Parenting” by John Pollard who discovered a process on how to reset this past trauma through inner conversations. In addition to this Colin Tipping produced a series of books specifically to heal the past through “Radical Forgiveness.” A very power and life-changing process. 

Breaking the cycle is key to a deeper healing circle ⭕️ within broken families cross-culture. 

Keep up the great work!

What an amazing article!  It summarizes, in a very elegant way, the plight of the parentified child.  This is much appreciated.. especially because its not only descriptive, but gives steps to take.  Thank you!!!

@Carey Sipp posted:

Once again, Miriam, you have touched me with your writing; your story. I appreciate so much your sharing your truth. 

Peace and thank you!

Carey Sipp

SE Regional Community Facilitator 

ACEs Connection 

Thank you so much Carey. Have a great weekend!

@Rene Howitt posted:

I've often wondered about the children that are parentified (if that is the correct term.) Since child abuse and neglect tend to happen in cycles are these children, as adults, more likely to then expect that their children will take care of them? If I grow up in a home where my parents take of me then I learn to take care of my children. However, if I grow up in a home taking care of my parent/caregiver then logic would follow that I have learned that my children should take care of me. Thoughts.

Hi Rene. The invisible trauma of parentification gets passed from generation to generation if we cannot identify the pattern and consciously do work to break the cycle. From my own personal story, I still remember how distressed I was when I heard things I was not supposed to hear and the hopelessness I was in when I was a child not knowing when my situation was going to get better. For me, my three girls don't owe me anything. I want to heal so that I can live for me and follow my own dreams so that I don't project my expectations on my kids. My wish as a mom is to love them, hold space for them to grow, feel their feelings and discover their talents and who they are and hopefully when they grow up they will still want to be close - but I am conscious it is not a given. 

Once again, Miriam, you have touched me with your writing; your story. I appreciate so much your sharing your truth. 

Peace and thank you!

Carey Sipp

SE Regional Community Facilitator 

ACEs Connection 

I've often wondered about the children that are parentified (if that is the correct term.) Since child abuse and neglect tend to happen in cycles are these children, as adults, more likely to then expect that their children will take care of them? If I grow up in a home where my parents take of me then I learn to take care of my children. However, if I grow up in a home taking care of my parent/caregiver then logic would follow that I have learned that my children should take care of me. Thoughts.