March 16, 2020
In this article, let’s talk about ways to overcome the deep-seated and devastating effects of childhood trauma, and our greatest ally, compassion.
Overcoming the Fear of Touch
For survivors, like me, just the thought of someone touching us can be terrifying. When someone gives us an uninvited hug or a partner decides to surprise us with a kiss, the alarms immediately sound in our brain.
The best illustration of what touch can be like for a survivor I have ever read comes from Stephen J. Bradley, LICSW, LMHC that he gave to Northampton Couples Therapy.
His description illustrates to those who do not understand how fear of touch works understand better what it feels like.
In the interview he stated the following:
“Imagine a stranger comes up to you that you have never met and engages in a lengthy conversation with their nose just an inch from your face.
“That would probably activate your inner alarm system, right?
“Most people in this situation would agree this feels ‘too intimate’ and may leave us feeling confused, defensive or upset.
“For children who have experienced trauma, however, it doesn’t take a stranger to activate their inner alarm bells. It can be someone they know well, such as a teacher approaching them in class.
“When partners come together, this can become a real conundrum. It can become stressful for people who have experienced abuse or neglect.”
Now let’s look at a recap of the role the amygdala and hippocampus play in the ballet of fear survivors experience.
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