This article is not meant to be political. It attempts to be a factual and functional approach to understanding and recovering from our national trauma. The fact is that we in the U.S. are living in a nation that is increasingly traumatized by the malignant, narcissistic rhetoric of its leadership and the shocking natural disasters and human violence that it minimizes and evades.
Traumatized people are frozen in their fearful feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and pathetic dependency. As those in national leadership positions pander to hate and enable dysfunction, millions of us are feeling victimized by the “shock and awe” of blatant bullying. A totalitarian dictator is praised after murdering a dissident journalist, because the murderer brought down oil prices, the message is that money matters more than humanity. This shocks the human nervous system, while everyone of us who benefits economically must feel the guilt of blood money on our hands. This damages and confuses each and every one of us, including and especially our young. Those who praise and defend oppressive regimes that stand against truth are equally culpable; just as a parent who stands by while the other parent abuses his child would be culpable of that child’s abuse.
There is a way out! One way out of our national state of traumatized powerlessness has to do with practicing The 7 Mindsets. By applying The 7 Mindsets (see www.7mindsets.comto learn how we are bringing 7 Mindsets education to young people through our 7 Mindsets SEL in schools across the U.S. and overseas) we re-wire our brains to recover from the traumatized patterns that would otherwise hold us back. We literally grow more intelligent, happier, more capable, more productive and more successful (this is fully backed by research). By deliberately directing your thoughts in positive ways you restructure your brain and harvest more of your limitless potential that has been trapped in trauma.
Mindset 1: Everything Is Possible
Let’s start with the Everything Is Possible Mindset. When you find yourself feeling anxious about the future, try dreaming big. Imagine the world you want to live in and start thinking about what you can do to help bring that world about. Imagine how you want to feel; imagine the kind of person you want to become; imagine the future goals you would love to materialize. At a deeper level this Mindset understands and accepts that achieving great goals inevitably leads throughfailures, losses, setbacks and difficulties. If we insist on learning from our mistakes and persevering through the darkest of times we are on our way to the brightest of possibilities. We thus override the traumatic pattern that would keep us feeling crushed, needy and destitute by the shocking dishonesty of leaders.
Mindset 2: Passion First.
Employing this Mindset releases our pent-up passion, a release that drives and inspires us to lead authentic, courageous lives of true meaning. One way that we live this Mindset is by getting very clear about our core values, about what it is we ultimately believe to be right, about what we are driven to take a stand for, and then to take that stand. We further access the power of our passion and release it from the trauma-pattern that has held us captive by relying on the development and application of our gifts and strengths to achieve outcomes that we believe in. As we lead lives of inspiration we leave lives of desperation. Reconnect with your passion by clarifying and living your core values and pursuing your objectives in ways that leverage what you love doing and want to do with greatness.
Mindset 3: We Re Connected
We demonstrate this Mindset when we treat others as we want to be treated; as we embrace everyone, including those who are different and who hold different views, in pursuit of forming mutually supportive relationships. When we close our hearts to a journalist’s unjust killing, and then reinforce the wall around our heart by feeling happy about making money from that act of injustice; or when we argue for separating children from their parents at the border because of an ideological stance regarding immigration; we psychologically separate and isolate ourselves from others. We dehumanize ourselves and we dehumanize everyone else in our eyes, so that fearful, selfish, animal-ferocity patterns rule our conduct. Thus, we experience an increasing sense of loneliness and paranoia. The fact is that we can accomplish more with people than without them. Finding ways to work together instead of against one another is a key to greater health, success and happiness. We build up a personal support system that can help us overcome our challenges, solve our problems and achieve our goals. We thus override the trauma patterns that would otherwise keep us fearfully alone, huddled in a shadowy corner somewhere with our arms wrapped around our knees.
Mindset 4: 100% Accountability
As we accept 100% responsibility for creating our own destiny, we stop feeling so fearfully dependent upon what unpredictable people in leadership positions are going to do to us. Living the 100% Accountability Mindset means remaining committed to doing what we can do to help ourselves and others. There is always something we can do for what we want. Accountability is always the primary quality that is missing from gaslighting, delusion-breeding, narcissistic leadership. The traumatizing autocrat portrays himself as godlike, infallible and scapegoats any apparent deficiency in his actions or outcomes. As followers learn from this un-accountability modeling, they give away their power to learn from mistakes and lose their power to produce better results. Being stuck in blame is a sign of having given your power away, which is essentially what it means to be stuck in trauma. Shift from blame to taking responsibility for doing what you can right where you are and look at what you have done to produce the outcomes you have achieved, in order to apply those lessons to improve your outcomes.
Mindset 5: Attitude Of Gratitude
The Attitude of Gratitude is perhaps the most effective way to recover our power from trauma. By appreciating what is working in our lives, by expressing appreciation for the small and large acts of goodness and greatness that we see demonstrated by ourselves and by others, by looking for what there is to feel grateful for, we free our perspective from the traumatic belief in our worthlessness and in the futility of effort. We transform our brains from the traumatic patterns of disappointment and despair. We discover that our happiness in not dependent upon what happens, that it depends on deliberately directing our focus onto what helps us to feel truly thankful.
Mindset 6: Live To Give
Instead of worrying about what you are going to receive, focus on giving what you can give. As we focus on giving more of ourselves for the causes and goals we truly believe in we are developing stronger, more functional neural patterns that overrule the trauma patterns that would hold us hostage to beliefs in our lack, inadequacy, neediness and dependency. The more you stretch yourself to give your best the more you will receive, and this will encourage you to give even more. Focus on giving more of your gifts, your strengths, your forms of abundance and you undo the traumatic fear pattern that would keep you stuck in worrying about what others will or will not give to you.
Mindset 7: The Time Is Now
You apply this Mindset by focusing on employing the 7 Mindsets right now; not waiting. Actually doing this now starts freeing your energy from the painful trauma patterns that otherwise keep you feeling stuck and stymied, devalued and diminished. By using this very momentto apply the 7 Mindsets we begin recovering our limitless power. Every moment we put it off is wasting our time and energy in suffering and backsliding. It takes, will, discipline and perseverance to apply the 7 Mindsets continuously, especially when you are not seeing results. But the results will show up in timeif you practice them. Now is the Time to dream big and take action for your big dream. Now Is The Time to live true to your core values. Now Is The Time to nurture your relationships with generosity and love. Now Is The Time to accept 100% Accountability for directing your life. Now Is The Time to elevate your perspective by focusing on what is working, on what you appreciate. Now Is The Time to focus your energy into giving more of what you want to give to achieve more of what you want to achieve.
As you take control of your mind you take control of your brain and override the neurological trauma patterns that have been established there. At the same time, you take control of your life, and that leaves those who are trying to control you for their narcissistic gain to become increasingly powerlessover you.
Make no mistake about it. Millions of people are being traumatized by the blatant and rampant amorality, dishonesty, cruelty, corruption, and inhumanity displayed by the leaders of the nation. What makes America great is individualstapping into their own power to make their lives extraordinary and to make an extraordinary contribution to the world. That is what America used to stand for, and it can again. We are a traumatized nation, but we can heal.
In a nutshell, here is how:
Mindset 1: Everything Is Possible
Remind yourself that you have the capacity to grow through difficulty, and that your greatest dreams are possible if you persevere through adversity.
Mindset 2: Passion First
Draw upon your unstoppable passion by relying upon your gifts and strengths and standing tall for what you believe in.
Mindset 3: We Are Connected
This is the opposite of the national leadership strategy of “divide and conquer” that pits those who are different against one another. Find ways to embrace everyone, to humanize the haters, and join forces with others who can help you achieve your objective.
Mindset 4: 100% Accountable
It’s too easy to blame our dysfunctional national leadership on those who display it from their bully pulpit. We are all responsible for what happens to us, and therefore we need to take responsibility for changing the situation. Think about what you can do to improve things rather than focusing on what others do to make things difficult.
Mindset 5: Attitude Of Gratitude
Yes, there is much going wrong in our national leadership, but there is much going right in our world, in our community, in our home. By focusing on what we can feel thankful for we elevate our perspective, remain positive, and find more opportunities to feel good and to do good.
Mindset 6: Live To Give
Our greater happiness and success depend upon stretching ourselves to give more of ourselves to the causes we believe in. By giving more to others we inspire their love, and love is certainly the only right answer to hatred.
Mindset 7: The Time Is Now
Now is the time to take action for the future we want to create for ourselves and for our children. There is no time to wait and no time to waste. Every moment – including this moment – may be our last precious and priceless opportunity to direct our destiny.
In my coaching, speaking and seminars I guide individuals in the application of the 7 Mindsets to living, to parenting, and teaching. Using these mindsets literally makes us more intelligent, happier and more successful. It frees us from the traumatic patterns that would otherwise freeze us in pathetic hopelessness and helplessness. Contact me through www.boblancer.com to discuss your needs, or to schedule a complimentary phone or Skype coaching session with me. And please visit www.7mindsets.comto see how we are preparing children to succeed with happiness today and into the future.
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