A very huge component of Emotional Neglect in marriages that we must talk about is Sexuality .
Emotional neglect refers to the lack of emotional support from your partner, including lack of interest, affection, or validation. Sexual neglect, on the other hand, occurs when your partner is not sexually available to you or does not satisfy your sexual needs.
Sex is not just physical. It's emotional and spiritual. Why do you think people cry when it's done really well? It's because it touches much deeper than just their physical bodies.
Good sex is when the needs of both parties are equally prioritized.
This means that, for the woman, sex doesn't begin 2 seconds before intercourse. It begins first thing in the morning. Did you greet her? Did you smile at her? Did you let her know, in spite of the fact that you might be fighting, that she is still your number one priority, after only God? Not just with your words, but with your actions too.
Then later when you are about to meet, do you take your time to help her get excited? Are you gentle and patient with her body because you realise and acknowledge that it takes time to get her ready for you. Or do you just quickly resort to using lubricant because you are not emotionally present enough to take this journey with her. You are more concerned about meeting your own need, after which you immediately fall asleep. Leaving your partner feeling frustrated and alone.
There are women who've gone many many years in marriage, without having an orgasm. This is an Injustice! It's not just a shame or a sad story. It's an actual injustice, and God is not pleased!! God is not please because in that instance, she is being denied the very essence of marriage: the final ecstacy of two human beings being so intertwined in their goals, ambitions, and life path, that when they come together physically, it culminates into an explosion 💥 of all these things!
Again, orgasm isn't just physical, it's spiritual. And that's why it's a SOLE RESERVE of marriage.
When a woman is denied this pleasure, she is being deeply wounded and isolated by the very person who is supposed to "love and hold" her.
Sexual neglect can lead to feelings of loneliness, frustration, resentment, and anger, which can gradually cause a rift in the relationship. Sexual neglect in marriage erodes feelings of love, affection, connection, intimacy, and even loyalty. Physical intimacy – including touching and sex – helps people feel like they are part of a couple – and the lack of it makes the person feel deprived and isolated.
Good sex releases oxytocin, which is sometimes called the “cuddle chemical” because of the role it plays in romantic attachment, and endorphins (hormones that can help reduce stress, relieve pain, and improve your sense of well-being) into the blood and brain.
The lack of these hormones can leave a spouse feeling disconnected from their partner and emotionally imbalanced.
Oxytocin is associated with trust, sexual arousal, and relationship building. Oxytocin levels also increase when you’re hugging someone and when you’re experiencing an orgasm.
Oxytocin has an important role in many human behaviors and social interactions, including:
A marriage without sex is also a marriage deficient in oxytocin.
If this is happening to you, you need to start doing something about it. And fast! Don't just sit back in silence. What is happening is NOT right, and you need to start talking about it, or it'll just keep happening and get worse. It’s important for couples to have open and honest conversations about their sexual desires and preferences, and to work together to find ways to satisfy each other’s needs. This can involve trying new things in the bedroom, exploring different forms of intimacy, or seeking the help of a therapist or counselor.
If you identify with this article and need help, reach out today. You never have to walk alone.
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