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Looking Mirror

 

Creating change was not meant for the faint of heart.  Whenever you try to reach that "tipping point" people don't always tell you about the slamming doors, the resistance, or the looks of skepticism.

How many of you have heard these questions:  "why are you bothering? "'they' will never change...people don't change!" and probably my favorite "trauma doesn't impact me so I don't need to worry about it!"

It doesn't "impact you"? I have crushed many a dream by informing them that unless they are living in a bubble..trauma does indeed impact them.  Getting the gears of a community to change direction is no easy feat.  People will tell you that even one conversation at a time can make a difference...and it can.  But when you looking at needing to get to 25% of the population to reach the tipping point, one conversation at a time can seem overwhelming.   

The reality is that not everyone will be interested in what you're selling.  They won't always get the information the first time or even second time going through a training.  It's going to have to register somewhere deep inside them before they have that "aha" moment.  I often remind people, who frantically exclaim "why doesn't everyone want to know this!" that talking about trauma is hard.  Learning about ACEs requires us to hang the mirror.  To fully understand someone else's trauma we're going to have to be willing to look at our own.  

Sometimes the resistance to change isn't that they don't believe the science (even when it's sound); or that they don't think the issue is as big as we say (even when it is) but because they aren't ready to look in that mirror just yet. 

To get someone to completely change their direction takes time, it requires a common language and understanding that it's "ok" to talk about these things now. 

This also means that you, as the "expert", have to be willing to look in that mirror on a daily basis.  How are you approaching others with this information? Are you walking the walk, or just hitting them over the head with the "facts".  Maybe it's time to dust off your own mirror and reevaluate how you are working within your circle of influence.  Others will sense that authenticity and it will become easier for them to follow suit, because they'll know that you are changing too.  

"I alone cannot change the world but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples."  Mother Teresa 

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