From current events to politics, there is no shortage of anxiety-inducing information in the world. At times, it can feel like our senses are being bombarded with worrisome news. How much worry is too much? How can we cope? This can certainly be more difficult for those who have lacked secure attachment in childhood or have experienced trauma during their lives. In fact, those with insecure, avoidant, or disorganized attachment, attachment wounds, or trauma histories will have a harder time re-regulating their nervous systems.
How to Stop Worrying Too Much
Here’s the good news…No matter what, it is possible to be less affected by the state of the world and stay more emotionally even-keeled!
Today, I’m going to help you understand where emotional regulation comes from, talk about how to recognize if your worry or anxiety level has become too high, and also provide tips to help support your emotional regulation on a daily basis.
How Much Worry is “Normal”?
“Normal” worry waves in and out. “Normal” worry is about something specific and realistic. It doesn’t impede daily functioning. If you are experiencing “normal” worry, you might see or hear something that slightly upsets or concerns you, but you can usually problem solve or even ask that kind of worry to step aside; you can breathe through it and can move on with your day. If you have the ability to do this, it means you are likely able to regulate your emotions on a consistent basis, where your thoughts and feelings are able to co-exist and even work together. It means you have the ability to think and feel at the same time so that your feelings and reactions are tolerable and flexible.
Emotional Regulation Starts in Childhood with Secure Attachment
Emotional regulation isn’t automatically part of who we are —it’s taught throughout life, either directly or indirectly. The ability to emotionally regulate comes significantly easier to those who have grown up with secure attachment.
Secure Attachment, as defined by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth: Secure attachment is classified by children who show some distress when their caregiver leaves but are able to compose themselves and do something knowing that their caregiver will return.
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