We don’t see it coming.
We are having a moment of intimacy: a moment we’ve been desiring and have been moving towards. And here it is, clothing is coming off and the connection is good and new and hot and then boom—a flashback comes at the tip of a lover’s fingers, the thrust of a tongue, a hand at the throat—suddenly we are pulled back to a moment of terror, violation, or confusion.
Our bodies feel caught up in that memory state and cannot register the present moment, can’t tell if we are, in fact, safe here. Our hearts pound, sweat comes to the palms and upper lip, perhaps we gasp for air, pull into balls of ourselves, lose our ability to explain coherently what is happening. We break the connection with our lover.
Or perhaps we are the lover, and we are moving forward with consent and connection and suddenly see fear and withdrawal in place of arousal and excitement.
[For more on this story by adrienne maree brown, go to https://www.bitchmedia.org/art...a-and-memory-collide]
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