How to Help Someone Who Has CPTSD

First, the bad news: You can’t MAKE a person with complex PTSD change..

You can’t make them heal. You can’t make them learn about the adult effects of abuse and neglect in childhood, and you can’t even make them admit there’s a problem.

But the good news is there are things you can do to help a loved one accomplish all these things themselves -- without being controlling or judgmental (those tend to produce resistance in people with CPTSD, which you’ve probably noticed!).

I’m going to give you five tips for how you can genuinely help another person’s healing, and at the same time help yourself to enjoy more kindness, less chaos, and more closeness with this person you love, who’s still struggling with trauma symptoms.

If you ARE the person with CPTSD, this is for you too, to give you words to ask for what you need, and to share when you need to give the people who care about you a roadmap for what actually helps you to continue the healing you are undertaking.

If you’re the person who wants their loved one to change, here’s the thing: What actually helps them is probably not what you’re doing now, even though that’s counter-intuitive. If you are pressuring them, it could even be delaying their healing. I’ll explain why below...

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