Adults with high ACE scores need healthy relationships:
What the ACE study reveals to us is that early relational stress has a negative impact on our physical and mental health. We aren't blaming poor parenting as the cause for high ACE scores because if you have parents take the ACE quiz you will find that they have high ACE scores as well. This is transmitted in our genetic codes intergenerationally. However, we must start to understand, educate, and bring awareness around this so that we can start to repair the trauma in order to prevent continued transmission.
Culturally we have continued to place high value on being independent and self sufficient. Which is contradictory to healing trauma and creating secure connections. If early stress relationally hurts, than the only way to heal is through a caring connection. We hurt in relationship and we heal in relationship. In fact, we are neurologically wired for safe attuned and caring partnership. I understand and recognize the challenges of relationships especially when one or both adults in the dynamic have endured high ACE scores. However, there is hope in healing and creating safety and security within a relationship.
Seeking the support of a therapist that specializes in trauma can help you heal the wounds of your childhood. Couples therapy is also an important route to take when working towards creating a secure functioning relationship. We must be mindful that our early experiences laid the foundation under which we learned how to be in relationship, if there was a lot of stress early on we have to find support from a therapist to relearn how to be in connection. group therapy, support groups, yoga, meditation, exercise, and other adjunctive supports are also very helpful!
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