Most people (including many people who are regarded as successful) see themselves at some point in their lives as inadequate or incompetent despite their professional, academic, or social achievements.
For those who experience regular cycles of perfectionism and burnout, praise from others can actually increase performance anxiety as well as fears that the "truth" of their incompetence will inevitably come out.
Do you often feel doubt about your competence, likability, or self worth?
Do you believe you've somehow managed to fool the people who have a good opinion of you?
Or that if they did actually know you, they wouldn’t like you?
If reading this creates a ping of recognition in your body, then you have some experience of the phenomenon known as "Imposter Syndrome".
It may seem strange, but from a relational neuroscience perspective, it makes sense.
The imposter phenomenon is deeply rooted in social and systemic factors and comes, in many ways, from a persistent aloneness in our work and our lives.
We are made for intimate connection and are attuned to and responsive to those closest to us.
The research of clinical psychologist Beatrice Beebe shows beautifully how babies, by the age of four months, are highly attuned to their caregivers’ verbal and visual cues.
So much so that babies will limit their expression to stay within the window of welcome of their caregivers.
This innate tendency to prune emotional expression that isn't welcome persists through our lives and can leave parts of us unknown, even to ourselves.
The "imposter" phenomenon is so common that it can’t really be seen as a disorder; it’s more a natural outcome of the competitive system that we all belong to. The systemic forces of white supremacy, patriarchy and capitalism also leave us alone and unknown, without any mirrors, accompaniment or examples of what’s possible for us in the realm of contribution to the world.
The less we feel seen, known and understood, the more challenging it is to reconcile and even understand our gifts.
If you live with the confusing and draining sense of being an imposter, you might not believe that your gifts and presence are welcome; you might also not allow for the fact that mistakes don't cancel the care you've brought to your work in the world.
However briefly or chronically Imposter Syndrome might have touched your life, it's possible to integrate the parts of yourself that might have made unconscious contracts which limit your access to joy in yourself, your work and your relationships.
If you would like to explore this further, you may be interested in finding out more about movements of Family Constellations, a unique and perfect tool for healing these challenges.
Constellations allow us to place internal experiences outside of ourselves in three-dimensional space. By mapping our internal landscapes in this way, we can come to a full and resonant understanding of our emotional entanglements and unravel old threads to allow more flow and ease.
You can find out more about Healing Imposter Syndrome here: https://sarahpeyton.com/produc...g-imposter-syndrome/
Here are some new and existing constellation workshops and resources you may find helpful. https://sarahpeyton.com/?s=constellation
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