A recent blog post from educate4change.com.
There are ways in which I still struggle in certain areas of my life, and I was beginning to feel they were all connected. I suspected the cause was a core wound, a negative feeling from long ago that had wedged itself deep in my subconscious.
Over the last twenty years, I’ve worked really hard to heal from the effects of child sexual abuse. However, this core wound was created before the abuse occurred. I was abandoned for the first seven months of my life. Due to financial circumstances, my mother had to give me up during that time to foster care, where she would come every day to feed me.
Survival at such a young age centers around food. Adults are responsible for feeding themselves. But I was just a baby. I didn’t know how to make food or how to find it. It was terrifying. The wound was created by this crippling fear, and it was very painful.
Consequently, this connection between love and food manifested in my adult life as a self-care issue. I’ve always had a bad habit of not eating when I should and not taking good nutritional care of myself. Somehow, someway, when I was a baby, the fear of starving to death created the belief that I didn’t know how to handle food, and I never would.
This core wound says: “If someone truly loves me, he or she will feed me. This is not something I am capable of doing for myself.”
Bad news for my body and my health. Even worse, it’s a wound that nourishes a self-harm belief common among abandoned children: “I don’t deserve to live.”
Yikes!
To get in touch with this wound, I took the awareness of it through my chest and down into my root chakra. This created a new energy opening and a connection with myself I had never experienced before.
Amazingly, this new energy flows through me all day long, nourishing me and helping me heal. It feels like a soothing balm in a deep dark place of hurt that has never known the light of awareness.
Now that I’ve given the core wound a voice, I check in with it periodically. As it heals, that toxic food/love belief is fading. I’m eating better than ever, and my body is thanking me. Yay!
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Were you sexually abused as a child? Is your life stuck as an adult, and you can’t seem to move forward? I offer private coaching sessions by phone or skype ($55.00 per hour) for child sexual abuse survivors just like you. To set up an appointment, call 619-889-6366 or email svava@educate4change.comtoday. Take the time to invest in yourself. You’re worth it!
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