Grief: Counseling Approaches for Teachers
Grief is “a reaction to any form of loss… [that] encompass a range of feelings from deep sadness to anger, and the process of adapting to a significant loss can vary dramatically from one person to another, depending on his or her background, beliefs, relationship to what was lost, and other factors.” (Mastrangelo & Wood, 2016)
Dr. Robert A. Neimeyer explains, “Death may end a life, but not necessarily a relationship.” Although the person may be gone, the emotions and experiences tied to them continue through one’s life, forcing them to reimagine that relationship while grieving.
Some stages of grief can include (1) denial, (2) anger, (3) bargaining, (4) depression, and (5) acceptance, as determined by the psychologist Elizabeth Külber-Ross. Note, these stages may not occur for everyone or in the same way; some students may experience them out of order, while others repeat stages. Shock and a stressful environment can amplify these stages as well.
Causes of Grief
There are various causes for grief. There are many questions to ask.
For school children of any age, there is likely to be grief over the loss of a teacher, an administrator, parent, grandparent, relative, friend, neighbor, etc. In counseling, this might be one of the first questions to ask: “Have you lost anyone over the past year?” This is a crucial question to ask as a starting point for assessing a child’s circumstances and needs.
So, what are some solutions to help those in grief? Routine! For many children, part of their grief is amplified when losing a sense of routine that they likely had when the school doors were open.
Moreover, students may have lost touch or affection. Some students may have been in environments where they were used to regularly receiving appropriate kinds of touch and affection with trusted adults in a safe environment.
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