Forging Bonds, Breaking Barriers: The Transformative Power of Relational Equity

If you’re anything like me, you’ve likely heard a variety of dictims about the proverbial table that we’re either seated at as a perk of being the dominant class, or the one we’re not seated at for the same reason. Historic icon Shirley Chisholm famously challenged inequity by saying, “If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.” The narrative has since evolved to If you’re not seated at the table, you’re probably on the menu, a phrase that claps back at injustice and the exploitation of historically targeted communities. Across generations, advocates, activists, and allies know this saying well.

Understandably, the quip turned social justice battlecry is shared in solidarity among unheard and marginalized communities and often refers to the ongoing emotional burden of inequity, cultural erasure, second class citizenry, and genocide as a result of imperialism and colonization.

Beyond the now familiar tip-off that draws our attention to the dysfunction of patriarchal power structures that favor exclusion from the table of equity—rather than inclusion—maybe we should be asking ourselves what trauma-informed values the new table could be founded on through a PACEs science lens.

Start with relational equity.

Considering the idea that a new table of equity is one we can build, we’d likely need to leave behind theorized equity. In its abridged version which is tapered to be understood rather than lived, it’s not fully embodied and realized through meaningful relationship building. Being in the middle of the road means you’re both building and eroding a bridge that is the way forward. Beyond the concept of equity through an intellectual lens, it’s important to remember relational equity considers the trust that impacted communities and advocates build together over time. With a solid foundation of trust, shared language at the heart of organizing can enhance mutuality. You can’t cultivate relationships if you don’t have them both.

Equity is elemental.

Not everyone has had the same freedom. It’s tempting to jump into the notion that everyone should experience oneness the same way. No matter how different our lived experiences are, some push for universal optimism with the hope that positivity is something to present, rather than feel. That can easily become a disconnect if not everyone subscribes, especially impacted communities who may have learned to seem fine in a dysfunctional society but may be impacted by engineered optimism in ways that can and cannot be seen. Advocating from a place of mutuality means acknowledging and practicing awareness as a lifestyle, not merely a job task.

Anti-racism practices and policies are not “nice-to-haves.”

One of the greatest barriers to anti-racism, including the harmful notion there is more than one human race when according to science there’s only one human race, is the assumption advocates make that they are completely immune to white supremacy culture. The fact remains, the construct we’re bound to is as deeply embedded in society and institutions as it is in our subconscious.

Avoiding the elephant in the room is the way around, but it’s not the way through. To make change on a community, organizational, or policy level in order to solve our most intractable problems means we not only show up with the willingness to put our cards on the table but we examine them with the willingness to have trauma-informed, restorative conversations beyond the typical comfort zone. The development of shared language through a PACEs lens is needed to empower impacted communities to dismantle oppressive narratives and sets truth telling as the standard expectation, not side stepping.

Solidarity is not an observation deck.

It’s time to get real about being a bystander vs. an upstander. A bystander may witness any number of off-putting microaggressions, assumptions, or moments where the intention wasn’t the same as the outcome. When others at the table lack respect, weaponize privilege, or gaslight as a means of avoidance, making excuses for harmful behavior sends the same mixed message the old table did. In community, trending phrases such as us vs. them, have to live beyond civil rights taglines. An upstander understands that without an orientation to action, intention lives in the land of myths. With or without comfort perfectly intact, upstanders utilize any number of interventions, educational tools and resources, and leverage personal relationships to bridge understanding.

Ultimately, if we don’t know the problems of the communities we serve, we can’t help fix them at any table. When we pool wisdom from an ecosystem of resources from impacted communities and wider society starting with shared language, the benefits for impacted communities are far and wide. Representation and agency improve, access to resources, equal opportunities and collaborative support increases, economic empowerment becomes normalized, and trauma-informed acknowledgement and recognition of systemic barriers creates a culture of belonging.

Interested in registering for the 2023 Creating Resilient Communities program? Join PACEs Connection to receive updates through our newsletter or reach out to kevans@pacesconnection.com.