Drop Everything and Pick Up this New Trauma Book Immediately—It's That Good

@Alison Cebulla, thank you again for posting this review. I read Foo's memoir a few months ago, and it did not disappoint. It was comforting to read the account of someone else who really gets C-PTSD as well as living through the causes of it and the aftermath of those causes. There were many good reminders of effective ways to navigate the sometimes choppy waters of C-PTSD/ACEs -- that's actually what I found most worthwhile about the read.

Later this month, I'll be taking an online memoir-writing course -- guess who is the first featured teacher? Stephanie Foo! Can't wait .

But would her book be any better for me than Childhood Disrupted?

I greatly struggle with a formidable perfect-storm-like combination of adverse childhood experience trauma, autism spectrum disorder and high sensitivity, the ACE trauma in large part being due to my ASD and high sensitivity. Thus it would be quite helpful to have books written about such or similar conditions involving a coexistence of ACE trauma and/or ASD and/or high sensitivity, the latter which seems to have a couple characteristics similar to ASD traits.

Childhood Disrupted failed to even once mention high sensitivity and/or autism spectrum disorder. [As it were, I also read a book on ASD that fails to even mention high sensitivity or ACE trauma. That was followed by a book about highly sensitive men, with no mention whatsoever of autism spectrum disorder or adverse childhood experience trauma.] Really, it’s no secret that ACE abuse/trauma is often inflicted on autistic and/or highly sensitive children and teens by their ‘neurotypical’ peers, so why not at least acknowledge it in some meaningful, constructive way?

I therefore don't know whether my additional, coexisting conditions will render the information and/or assigned exercises from such not-cheap books useless, or close to it, in my efforts to live much less miserably. While many/most people in my shoes would work with the books nonetheless, I cannot; I simply need to know if I'm wasting my time and, most importantly, mental efforts.

[An additional unaddressed 'elephant in the room' throughout the book is: Why does/can the author only include one male among its six interviewed ACE-traumatized adult subjects? Was there such a small pool of ACE-traumatized men willing to formally tell his own story of life-changing childhood abuse? Could it be yet more evidence of a continuing subtle societal take-it-like-a-man mindset; one in which so many men, even in these modern times and with anonymity, still would prefer not to ‘complain’ to some stranger/author about his torturous youth, as that is what ‘real men’ do? That relatively so few men (a ratio of 5:1 female to male) suffered high-scoring ACE trauma is not a plausible conclusion, however low in formally recorded number such unfortunate male victims may be.]

@Myra Sabir (aka. aihi) posted:

I keep telling myself to stop ordering books, but then I remembered the $50 Amazon birthday gift card my brother just sent me! 

Thank you! Can't wait to read -- and discuss!

What a great birthday gift from your brother!

Hope you are well and so curious to hear how your work is going that you were telling me about when we talked.

@Laura Pinhey posted:

Alison, I suspect there are masses of us out here who are just OK enough to pass for OK, but not really OK enough to feel OK -- it sounds as if this author explores that.

Yes! There are masses of us! Hiding...

She explores this with such heart and vulnerability. It's an incredible book.

@Alison Cebulla posted:

Thank you for relating to this, Laura! It's so comforting to know it's not just me who has struggled with this feeling!

Alison, I suspect there are masses of us out here who are just OK enough to pass for OK, but not really OK enough to feel OK -- it sounds as if this author explores that.

@Laura Pinhey posted:

"Maybe I can't do human life,"

Yeah. I have this thought several times a week and a conversation about it with my husband on the reg . Thanks for posting this intriguing review, Alison. I'm going to add this book to my Goodreads list right now.

Thank you for relating to this, Laura! It's so comforting to know it's not just me who has struggled with this feeling!

The author of this book, Stephanie Foo, read this review and messaged me:

"This was really a really beautiful review and I LOLed at the dank wraps. Thank you so much!!" Then she shared the review with her network on Instagram.

Her book has sold out on Amazon!! It's quickly rising the ranks on the best sellers list.

You can follow her on Instagram at @foofoofoo

I’m about 2/3 of the way through the Audible version of this book. It is remarkable. Alison did not overpromise. The book is all she said it is and more. Were I actually reading it instead of listening to it, I probably would have completed it already, as it is the kind of read I would pick up and literally not put down. More to come!

Here's an NPR interview with Stephanie Foo. It's great!

https://www.npr.org/2022/02/27...ng-with-complex-ptsd

"Maybe I can't do human life,"

Yeah. I have this thought several times a week and a conversation about it with my husband on the reg . Thanks for posting this intriguing review, Alison. I'm going to add this book to my Goodreads list right now.

I keep telling myself to stop ordering books, but then I remembered the $50 Amazon birthday gift card my brother just sent me! 

Thank you! Can't wait to read -- and discuss!

Though it may be clinically labelled as some other disorder, I have a self-diagnosed condition involving ACE trauma, ASD and high sensitivity — which I freely refer to as a perfect storm of train wrecks. It’s one with which I greatly struggle(d) while unaware, until I was a half-century old, that its component dysfunctions had official names.

Thus, I believe it would be helpful to have a book written about such conditions involving a tumultuous combination of high sensitivity, adverse childhood experience trauma and/or autism spectrum disorder (the latter which, I’ve found, has some symptoms similar to high sensitivity).

I read a book about highly sensitive men that totally fails to even mention the real potential for additional challenges created by high sensitivity combining with adverse childhood experience trauma and/or an autism spectrum disorder. Similarly, The Autistic Brain completely excludes any mention of ASD coexisting with high sensitivity and/or ACE trauma, let alone the possible complications thus additional suffering created by such coexistence. And the book Childhood Disrupted, however informative, doesn’t even hint at the potential for having to suffer ACE trauma alongside ASD and/or high sensitivity.

I therefore don't know whether my additional, coexisting conditions will render the information and/or assigned exercises from each of the three books useless, or close to it, in my efforts to live much less miserably. While many/most people in my shoes would work with the books nonetheless, I cannot; I simply need to know if I'm wasting my time and, most importantly, mental efforts.

Such a book, or books, could also include the concept of high school curriculum that teaches the science of the basics of young children’s developing brains and therefore healthy/unhealthy methods of parental/guardian rearing of children who are highly sensitive. (In 2017, when I asked a teachers federation official over the phone whether there is any such curriculum taught in any of B.C.’s school districts, he immediately replied there is not. When I asked the reason for its absence and whether it may be due to the subject matter being too controversial, he replied with a simple “Yes”. This strongly suggests there are philosophical thus political obstacles to teaching students such crucial life skills as nourishingly parenting one’s child’s developing mind.)

@Carey Sipp posted:

Thanks, Alison.  

You write a compelling book review!

This sounds like a terrific read, and your description reminds be a bit of Kathy  Brous’s “Don’t Try This Alone” about healing attachment disorder.

Thanks for sharing. I’ll be back in touch after reading, or listening, to this book.
I’ve followed a couple of your recommendations in the past and you did not steer me wrong!

I’m glad you enjoyed the book. And I am so heartened by the way you write about you and your mom being fans of the same trauma therapist. That is relational healing, too, I believe — a shared experience and common fondness. You told that story well, and it was a bit of vicarious healing for me!

Peace,

Carey

Thanks so much, Carey, for your warm, kind words, as always. I sure have learned a lot about warmth and kindness from you! I'll check out Don't Try This Alone--it looks good!

Thanks, Alison.  

You write a compelling book review!

This sounds like a terrific read, and your description reminds be a bit of Kathy  Brous’s “Don’t Try This Alone” about healing attachment disorder.

Thanks for sharing. I’ll be back in touch after reading, or listening, to this book.
I’ve followed a couple of your recommendations in the past and you did not steer me wrong!

I’m glad you enjoyed the book. And I am so heartened by the way you write about you and your mom being fans of the same trauma therapist. That is relational healing, too, I believe — a shared experience and common fondness. You told that story well, and it was a bit of vicarious healing for me!

Peace,

Carey