"Don't Adopt from Foster Care"
Linda, like so many, had our best interest at heart. She knew, most likely from the second-hand experience, that foster care was hard. Foster kids could be hard. As a social worker, she had probably heard the full-gamut of stories that could be told. Our conversation went like this...
"If you can have your own kids, then you should," she said.
"Well, we just want to make sure we have a boy," I selfishly replied. "We've always wanted a boy, You know."
"Yes, but the kids in foster care have so many problems," she explained.
"What do you mean?" I was confused a bit here. So was my husband.
"They have problems."
That was where it ended. Or at last, that was where I stopped listening to her.
Problems? With Foster Kids?
I had no idea, really. However, we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that whatever the "problems" were, our love could fix the problems.
Consequently, our parenting style could do the trick to "solve" the problems. We had one child and she was an angel. Multiple times we were complimented on our parenting style and her good behavior. [insert slow pat on the back here]
We were great parents! [insert sarcastic eye roll and giggle like "yeah right, we lucked up with that first child, perhaps..."]
Linda, the social worker, did not understand the drive for us to do this "thing". Although we did wait several years before adopting and this conversation left my mind for many years until I experienced a few real "problems". Actually, that is another blog post for another day; or several other posts for several other days.
So many friends had seemed almost queasy at the idea of bringing other kids into our home when we could have "perfectly good kids of our own" biologically.
Many people state, "I could never do that." Some are right. Foster care and adoption are NOT for everyone. It's true. No judgment here.
However, there was an innate desire to bring another child into our house.
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