Many of us have heard of codependency and narcissism. Codependency is when two people are locked in a life where they feed off on another, causing mental anguish. Narcissism is when one of the pair is self-centered, arrogant, and lacks empathy for their partner.
In this article, we shall tackle codependency in more depth. We shall also examine narcissistic abuse, a little talked about syndrome where children and adults are subjected to trauma by a narcissist.
What is Codependency?
Codependency is a hard condition to define as it is not in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5th Edition (DSM 5) so it is not considered a mental health condition.
Melody Beattie is the author of Codependent No More, a book that explores codependency and how it affects the lives of those who exhibit it. The book advises explanations, and compassion for people who live with the overwhelming condition of codependency.
Beattie states the best definition could be as follows. “Codependency is a stress-induced pattern of behavior that dictates how a person treats another and how she allows that other person to influence her. The codependent obsesses over the other person and seeks to control them.”
Darlene Lancer goes further in her definition of codependency:
“Codependency is more than a relationship problem. Wounds of codependency affect our psyche and individual development. Make no mistake. It’s to no fault of our own. Codependency is adaptive and helped us survive growing up in a dysfunctional family system. But that change cost us our individuality, authenticity, and our future quality of life.”
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