By A. Hosack & P. Berman & K. Hecht
Will I be bullied again? Is it possible to make friends?
Claire had tossed and turned all night, with terrifying dreams about school. She didn’t like to think about how she had been bullied before Larry rescued her. There was no Larry to protect her now. The Carsons kept saying encouraging things about school. They talked about her making friends. They even said she might find other women with children who could be playmates for Davy. Claire wanted to believe them. But, they had never been foster kids- they were foster parents. She knew she didn’t deserve friends. She was a loser. Someone whose parents considered her their punching bag.
Last night she dreamed that two students were holding her down while another used a dental tool to pull out all her teeth. She sweated heavily during this dream, but it was not the one that woke her up. Claire's most horrifying dream began so quietly. She was sitting in a classroom and watching the teacher put words on the board. Claire had done the readings but still couldn’t understand any of the words. The teacher asked a question and everyone, but Claire raised their hands. The teacher walked right up to her and asked for the answer. Claire didn’t have any idea what was right, she was afraid to admit she didn’t understand the words on the board. She just blurted out something she had read from the textbook- it was not the right answer. Suddenly, the teacher looked just like her mom. She pointed her finger at Claire and cried out that she was a waste of space, taking up a seat that belonged to someone that mattered!
All the other students had just laughed and stared right through her. Claire’s scream woke up the Carsons. Mrs. Carson rushed into Claire’s room and talked softly to her, remindingher of the mindfulness steps they had learned and how she could help use them to her calm down. The fish had been moved from theliving room intoClaire’s bedroom. Her special fish that helped her relax. Claire had mastered these mindfulness exercises because she had done them so many times before. Now, just putting her face up to the fishbowl and watching her fish helped Claire calm down. It was 6 a.m. so Mrs. Carson suggested that Claire just take a long shower and they would have an early breakfast. Mr. Carson was going to make her favorite pancake breakfast to celebrate her first day in school. Claire tried to smile at the Carsons at the breakfast table. They were so excited for her. They were smiling and looked so happy. If only she felt like them! But,all her fears had come back in a rush after her shower.
What if I flunk out my first week? What if the teachers agree with my mom about me?
After her first bite, Claire felt like she would throw up. Claire's fear of failure had hit her like a brick wall.
Have fears of failure ever dropped a brick wall in front of you? Read about the ten common warning signs and what you might do to break through the wall at:
https://www.psychologytoday.co...ht-have-fear-failure
Read Claire's story from the beginning at https://pearlsberman.com/blog
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