Photo: J. Kaarzyna Woronowicz
As veterans have returned from the nation’s two longest wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, families, veterans groups and providers often prioritize addressing the needs of wounded service members. Frequently lost in the immediate turmoil are the needs of their children, according to a new study by the Caster Family Center for Nonprofit and Philanthropic Research at the University of San Diego.
...An estimated 2 million children nationwide have been affected by wartime deployment since Sept. 11, 2001, the study noted.
...“They’re basically able to make shared meaning out of their adverse experiences,” said Catherine Mogil, co-developer of the FOCUS program and director of training and intervention development at UCLA’s Nathanson Family Resilience Center. “They’re able to say, ‘What is the silver lining?’ ”
Maintaining a routine, like a time frame for dinner, and being honest, but developmentally appropriate, about a parent’s wounds help children understand and adapt, Mogil said.
Families also learn about emotional regulation by using a feeling thermometer to express themselves. For instance, the red zone represents anger and frustration.
“Communication in the red zone does not work,” Mogil said. “We’re not using our rational, thoughtful mind. We make bad choices. We’re not careful of our words. We don’t honor other people.”
Parents and children learn to calm down when they’re in the red zone, whether by taking a nap, calling a friend or reading a book.
Among the positive consequences of growing up with a seriously wounded parent is that the child is more prone to develop flexibility, self-sufficiency and empathy for those who are different from them, Schumann said.
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