Watching mommy and daddy tear each other apart emotionally and often physically has left battle scars on David and his little sister, Amelia.
The five-year-old boy now struggles with severe emotional and social problems, including anxiety and oppositional defiance disorder. He and his mom, Ayla Tennant, 29, are learning how to cope with the aftermath through programs at Calgary Urban Project Society (CUPS).
“We had a serious abusive relationship and David unfortunately witnessed a lot of it. He was old enough to see everything,” says Tennant, who finally left her husband a year and a half ago.
“I was living in fairy-tale land. I thought we needed to stay together for the kids and I couldn’t walk away, especially with nothing.”
Tennant’s children aren’t the only ones who have been affected by the violence. She also has anxiety and admits she’s often paranoid.
“My walls are up now, so I can’t imagine what it’s like for a five-year-old.”
Growing up in a raucous, abusive home where screaming and violence is a daily occurrence creates “toxic stress” — something akin to living in a war-torn country, say experts.
CUPS, a 2016 Calgary Herald Christmas Fund beneficiary, is using research to help these families become healthy and self-sufficient. Using a survey, staff rate clients’ exposure to childhood trauma to try to understand what effect it will have on their future physical and social development. Adverse childhood experiences have been linked to risky behaviours, chronic health conditions, low life potential and early death. Using brain science, CUPS is teaching skills that will build resiliency, better emotional regulation and goal setting.
“That shifts the brain from survival to proactive planning,” said Carlene Donnelly, executive director of CUPS.
[For more of this story, written by Michele Jarvie, go to http://calgaryherald.com/healt...air-a-child-for-life]
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