I heard a story this week that sent sensation to my heart. It was the story of a woman of color and her child. They were at a hospital, I'm unsure the specifics of where or why. One of the nurses, a white woman, had an interaction with the child and then complimented the child on their appearance, strength and intelligence. The mother proceeded to hide her child behind her back and said, "oh no my child is none of that."
On the surface, as a white woman, I thought, "Ahh, that is kind of the nurse, but how could the mother say that?" The reality is that the ancestral trauma was being exposed. What I learned from this story is that in the past if a white person complimented a child of color, there was risk of that child being taken away. So the mothers instinct to deny the compliment and try to protect is completely valid.
In this scenario a couple of things could happen. The nurse could walk away and gossip about the situation and how this woman of color wouldn't accept a compliment. She has the privilege to do that. In another scenario, the woman of color has a choice to continue about her day or to question why she denied her child the access to a compliment from a white person. Another, of many, scenarios could be that the nurse sees that she said something that she cannot understand, and with grace and compassion reveals that her intent was not to harm, only to compliment. I cannot say there is a correct way to respond, other than to do just that, respond (not react) with love.
What does this have to do with yoga? Yoga gives opportunity to move into spaces that allow us to unpack ancestral trauma, the memorized phrases, poses, actions that we move towards out of comfort. Yoga gives opportunity to collect and understand resources for regulating the body when we are uncomfortable. So when something like this happens, one does not react, one responds, again, in love. Through a meticulous yoga class we are given opportunity, regardless of our skin color, background, sexual orientation, to gain resources. The ability to check in, orient, come back to center, come back to the breath, come back to love and respond to what is in front of us. We know that trauma is anything that overwhelms our capacity to respond and cope, leaving us helpless, hopeless and out of control. If we are met with those edges within a yoga class, perhaps scenarios from the past, can we re-write the trauma to something that we do have the tools to respond to, cope with, and feel hopeful and in control of. This is just one gift of the yoga practice.
I am committed to continuing to unpack all the stuff and to remembering that we are all bound in our liberation. I am committed to showing up in truth and understanding for that is love. I hope this story gives you something to think about and serves your path towards collective healing, wellness and oneness.
The best part about even writing this blog, is the anxiety that comes up around unpacking my own relationship with these uncomfortable conversations. I am listening to my body, orienting, breathing, and feeling my feet on the ground. The work is hard, but necessary, and I appreciate the opportunity to share.
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