July 12, 2021
No one should ever look at their complex trauma and be grateful for it, and no one has the right to tell you to do so. Stating that it would be like asking someone to be thankful because they had cancer or some other horrific disease. The statement is insensitive and wrong. However, many therapists will ask you what did you learn from your experiences? Did you learn resilience? Did you learn compassion? Did you learn how strong you indeed are? What did you learn?
By asking these profound questions that no one else can answer, you process trauma and can focus on healing.
By therapists asking someone to reflect on what they have learned from their traumatic past, they are helping you to heal. Therapists do this by bringing you into the present to look back at history. The trauma belongs in the past, but it can only recede and stay there if we acknowledge it. By asking a series of appropriate questions, therapists help you to heal.
Reclaiming Hope After Complex Trauma
Hope after complex trauma is vital to healing. Hope involves taking time to reflect on how much you have grown, especially since first working on trauma-related behaviors. Hope is necessary to finding a therapist who is right for you because you must not give up the search.
Hope involves making meaning out of your suffering, and this requires taking responsibility for your life in the now. This act must include your thoughts, as well as your actions.
If you find you are constantly living in stinking thinking (negative thinking about yourself and your life), challenge yourself to change these pessimistic thoughts. Focus instead on what you have accomplished. Just going to therapy and working on trauma-related issues is a huge accomplishment. Do not sell yourself short.
At first, forward movement may be slow, but as you build your confidence and tolerance with yourself, you will find yourself having increased joy in life. There are four components to healing from complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and we shall explore them together.
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