“It must’ve been love, but it’s over now! It must’ve been good, but I lost it somehow.” This 1990’s breakup song by Roxette was no doubt inspired by the end of a romantic relationship, but research shows these same themes — of pain and confusion — often mark breakups with friends as well.
Researchers at Manchester University, for example, found that women are often more traumatized by dumping their friends than ending things with a lover. Women, they discovered, tend to feel a sense of shame over releasing a friendship — often blaming themselves for shirking their sense of duty.
Though most people try to avoid such painful experiences, friend breakups are sometimes unavoidable. And even necessary. Research has shown, for example, that toxic friendships can be linked to illness. Dartmouth sociology professor Janice McCabe even suggests that ending friendships can help us maintain a positive identity. When we end a relationship with a dishonest friend, for example, it helps us affirm our own commitment to honesty.
[For more of this story, written by Sarah Cunningham, go to http://psychcentral.com/blog/a...eakup-with-a-friend/]
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