7 Toxic Behaviors You Should Never Tolerate [blogs.psychcentral.com]

Humans tend to normalize behaviors of close intimates, tucking certain responses and behaviors into folders labeled “Just the way he is” or “So typical of her.” We do that because, in the moment, we chose to stay in the relationship, even though the sailing isn’t always smooth; some of the time, we fail to recognize that we’re actually excusing behaviors that should never be tolerated.People with insecure attachment styles whose emotional needs weren’t met in childhood do this more often and for longer than securely attached people who are much more likely to call out hurtful behavior because, for them, it’s anomalous. Those who were used to being marginalized, ignored, mocked or picked on in their childhood homes are much more likely to normalize or excuse bad behaviors. It’s a bit like the pile of boots and shoes by the front door that you get so used to that you no longer see it, alas. (For a more in-depth discussion of how this affects unloved daughters, see my new book, Daughter Detox:Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life.

Tools of manipulation and power

All of these behaviors are ways of exerting control over you, and are signs of an imbalance of power in the relationship as well as clues to the other person’s motivations. Some of them are more obvious than others but the real key is whether or not you’re calling them out for what they are or whether you’re pleasing, appeasing, rationalizing, denying, or making excuses. We all need to take responsibility for whether or how we tolerate behaviors that shouldn’t be a part of anyone’s emotional landscape.

Marginalizes your thoughts and feelings

Laughing at you or telling you that he or she doesn’t care what you think is not okay or that your feelings are unimportant or perhaps laughable. Or that your thoughts are wrong—based on fuzzy thinking—or that you’re “too sensitive” or “too emotional.” These are manipulations, pure and simple.

[For more on this story by Peg Streep, go to https://blogs.psychcentral.com...ould-never-tolerate/]