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10 Tips for What to Do When You’re in Over Your Head [PsychCentral.com]

 

You know that sinking feeling you get when you say yes to too many requests, take on too much when you know you won’t be able to tackle it all, feel obligated to push yourself to the limit out of fear, anxiety, depression, loneliness, competitiveness or something else? Being in over your head is never pleasant, yet it doesn’t have to reduce you to a blubbering mess.



[For more of this story, written by Suzanne Kane, go to https://psychcentral.com/lib/1...e-in-over-your-head/]

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Where was this article 40 years ago!

I wrote the following description of what if felt like to me to always say "Yes". I'm not sure about you but for me, I would take on the "weight of the world" and still ask for more!

The more chaos, the better I functioned! That was until every month or so the panic would set in at 4am. The following was how I described what I was feeling - this is unedited, raw in a  moment of overwhelm. Note the underlying belief of "I am alone/abandonment".

I must admit, a couple of times this past year this person showed up in my head .  Have you ever seen or heard her in your head?

 

Can’t Say No? How one 2 Letter Word Can Pull You Down the Rabbit Hole 
 
I feel like I'm climbing a pole that has quicksand at its base. I know that I can't let go because Im not sure I will get back up. 
 
I climb up a little every day, sometimes sliding down as far as or more than I've climbed up.

I feel like I'm sliding down the pole more than I'm pulling myself up. I'm tired, overwhelmed and lonely on the pole. I just want someone to push me up or hang with me by the pole so I can stop climbing for a bit. Out of love one person tries to pull me off the pole...the other cheers me on for 5-10 min. 
 
They walk away. They forget I'm on the pole.
 
I'm tempted to let go and fall. I don't think they'd be there to pull me out of the quicksand. I've kept myself from falling so many times that I don't think they believe that I'm ever that close to falling for good.
 
I hang on for a bit then I start climbing again
 
I feel like I'm sliding down the pole more than I seem to be climbing up it. I m tired, overwhelmed and lonely on the pole. I just want someone to push me up or hang with me by the pole so I can stop climbing for a bit. Out of love one person tries to pull me off the pole...the other cheers me on for 5-10 min. 
 
They walk away. They forget I'm on the pole.
 
I' m tempted to let go and fall. I don't think they'd be there to pull me out of the quicksand. I've kept myself from falling so many times that they I don't think they believe that I'm that close to falling.
 
I hang on for a bit then start climbing again. 
 
I feel like Im sliding down more than I seem to be climbing up. I m tired, overwhelmed and lonely on the pole......,
 
You see where this is going right?
 
So I guess the moral of the story is to stop asking them to help push me up. But when it gets to this point, there's a little girl on the pole....She keeps asking for help and in her mind no one will help her.  
 
They always walk away. They forget she's on the pole. She keeps giving them another chance to help. She doesn't understand why they don't help, that's whaat parents are supposed to do - aren't they?
 
That was about 6 years ago, I've nurtured that little girl an awful lot. I hadn't read that in a long time - I think that little girl needs a HUG!
 
Much love and gratitude, Leslie
 
 
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