Tagged With "Amy Goodman Survivor Stories"
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Two Decades Later, A Mother Writes Back to the WIC Program She Used
One of my best friends, Heidi Aylward, is a high ACE scoring mother of two. She's also a feisty, funny and has a full life balancing work, parenting, friends and all the responsibilities of tending to home and loved ones. And she is a woman who used WIC . WIC defines itself as "The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) provides Federal grants to States for supplemental foods, health care referrals, and nutrition education for low-income pregnant,...
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7 Reasons the Past is Keeping You Stuck (www.beatingtrauma.com)
Excerpt from blog by Elisabeth Corey.
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9 Signs You Need Better Self-Care and May Be a Trauma Survivor
Self-care is the sum of things you do for your emotional and physical wellbeing. Getting enough sleep, brushing your teeth, and eating well are classic examples of good physical self-care. How to take good care of yourself emotionally may be harder to see from the outside. Your ability to view your inner world with compassion and curiosity is one sign. Noticing your emotions and thoughts with gentle awareness is another inward sign of emotional self-care. Knowing how to find and turn to...
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A New Year's Message
Happy New Year and forget about old-time resolutions! I’d like to pose something different than loosing weight or getting organized: giving ourselves a gift, the gift of attention. I have a very particular activity to recommend – one that served me very well as I describe in Chapter 5: Coming Our as a Survivor in my book Healing My Life from Incest to Joy: “It came to me one morning as I sat in front of my mirror doing my hair and makeup. I looked into my own eyes and said, “I’m proud of...
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Effects of Preterm Birth
A baby born prematurely often spends that crucial time for attachment and development of neural pathways in the NICU
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Fathering as a Survivor - Ray Charles (www.triggerpointsanthology.com)
We hear too little from men about having survived childhood abuse and even less about how that abuse impacts their fathering. This series about fathering as a survivor is helping to change that. They've done a complete interview with Ray Charles. Here's an excerpt. 7. What would you tell another survivor father who is expecting their first child? You have 9 months and counting to help yourself to try and climb out of your own issues (sounds easy, its not). This little person will need you...
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Fathering as a Survivor (www.triggerpointsanthology.com)
We don't hear enough from men who have been abused as children. Byron Hamel is helping to change that. This is an interview done with Hamel by the Trigger Points Anthology website . It's the first in a series they are running about fathering as a survivor of childhood abuse. If you can't read the entire thing, and you should, please read this: I honestly think most people believe an abused boy is inherently going to become an abusive or neglectful dad. I gotta call bullshit on that one,...
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From One Survivor to Another, Helping Survivors of Human Trafficking Escape and Stay Safe [sandiegotribune.com]
By Lisa Deaderick, The San Diego Tribune, December 22, 2019 Marjorie Saylor remembers a woman who was looking for help leaving her trafficker. The woman was pregnant and waiting for a bed at a shelter to open up, but she had to wait on the street, alone and in the cold. Her trafficker found her and took her with him. “I never heard from her again. She only had a week left to go before her bed opened up, but the two weeks she toughed it out waiting on the street kept her in harm’s reach,”...
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From Promise to Practice: Aligning Housing and Services to Support Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence [howhousingmatters.org]
Historically, approaches to ending homelessness and those for ending IPV have operated, at best, in parallel. Despite evidence that domestic violence is a leading cause of homelessness among women , youth, and families and that abuse and its impacts continue long after survivors leave relationships, very few survivor-centered housing options exist . But this is beginning to change. Ending homelessness for families and youth is now a national priority. In response to this shift, several IPV...
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How Does Trauma Affect a Person’s Interaction with Their Child? (www.nicabm.com) & Commentary
Has anyone seen this video posted on the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICAMB) blog? "According to Dr. Ruth Lanius, a parent's experience of trauma can impact their ability to form a close, intimate relationship with their child." Ruth Buczynski, PhD Those of us Parenting with ACEs sure know that's the truth. Developmental trauma impacts our ability to form close and intimate relationships with ourselves, other adults and our children. The video was...
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The Trauma-Sensitive Parenting Summit & Commentary
"Having a history of trauma or loss does not by itself predispose you to have a child with disorganization. It is the lack of resolution that is the essential risk factor. It is never too late to move toward making sense of your experiences and healing your past. Not only you but also your child will benefit." That's a quote from the book Parenting from the Inside Out: How A Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive, which was published fifteen freaking years ago. It's...
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There is Only Rejection (www.beatingtrauma.com)
Another offering from Elisabeth Corey's Beating Trauma blog . Here's an excerpt: As a survivor of childhood trauma, I have spent my life surrounded by “all or nothing” people. And unfortunately, it made me an “all of nothing” person. I have spent years undoing the belief systems that come from a childhood like mine, but sometimes it feels endless (or maybe that’s my “all or nothing thinking again). I have had to unravel beliefs like: “Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.” “Nobody will...
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This Survivor is Helping Doctor's Patients Not Die 20 Years Too Young
Earlier this year I shared one piece of my trauma history with my family doctor... it’s finally out in the open, but I really wish I didn’t have to be the one to start that conversation every time.
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To The Single Parent Who Pushes On (www.scarymommy.com)
Note: Many parents who are parenting with ACEs could use some extra support. Some, have little or none. A woman posted a link to this article on Facebook and I share it because she noted, as a survivor (of ACEs), there aren't always in-laws and grandparents or extended family to step in and help out. This is hard. She didn't want pity. I don't feel pity. But I feel empathy. She can't get sick and if she does it's miserable, emotionally, physically and often financially. Some of us who are...
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Tracing One’s Family ACEs Tree to Break the Familial Cycles of Alcohol Misuse
My marrying an alcoholic never made sense to me. My mother developing the disease of alcoholism never made sense to me, either. And why my loved ones couldn’t get it together to stop or wrest control of their drinking was equally confusing. Yet I churned around and in and through this muck for almost four decades before my world was split wide open. It was 2003 and one of my loved ones entered a residential treatment program for alcoholism. I remember experiencing a giddy – “I knew it, I...
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Trauma Amid The Coronavirus: 8 Ways To Prevent Symptoms From Worsening [mindbodygreen.com]
By Shaili Jain, Mind Body Green, March 23, 2020 Amid the coronavirus pandemic, people everywhere are adjusting to a new normal. As we're all experiencing, the stress of these adjustments certainly differ from our regular day-to-day stress. And for those living with trauma, there's a very real possibility their symptoms could get worse under the current circumstances. With standard ways to cope unavailable (like going to the gym, meeting up with friends, or going to a concert) this can be a...
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Trauma-Informed Lens Podcast: Talking about Trauma of Divorce with Dr. Angela Cusimano
In this episode, Matt discusses the trauma of divorce with Dr. Angela Cusimano. On the list of Adverse Childhood Experience, Divorce is a unique type of family disruption. Dr. Cusimano shares her expertise in working with divorce survivors. https://connectingparadigms.org/blog/podcast/interview-with-dr-angela-cusimano-trauma-of-divorce/ Angela Cusimano is a psychologist and personal coach with decades of experience working with kids, families, and trauma survivors. She is a childhood divorce...
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Trauma-Informed Resources Available During COVID-19 Quarantine (www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org)
Cissy's Note: We're not alone and organizations like the Attachment Trauma Network are summarizing resources and offerings and remembering the entire school community - including parents. Below, there's an excerpt from a recent blog post with resources. Also, per Julie Beem, the Executive Director of the Trauma Attachment Network, (she's smart, kind, and wonderful), more resources will be coming this week and next. And they will be shared here as soon as they are available. While these...
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Trauma-Informed Social Justice: Q&A with Dr. Bukuloa Ogunkua
Cissy's Note: I work with people who challenge systems and policies, who reform or start non-profits, and who see hope and promise where others see despair or destruction. While some folks shake their heads or shrug indifferently in the face of injustice and suffering, others organize, mobilize, and channel their time and energy towards making a change. Maybe a physician hosts an annual conference bringing trauma-informed approaches to medical practice. Perhaps a woman shares ACEs 101...
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Trigger Points — finally, a parenting book for moms and dads who survived child abuse [acestoohigh.com]
Trigger Points is the first book written, edited, published by survivors of childhood abuse geared towards parents who are survivors. THE FIRST! THE ONLY! It includes essays from more than 20 men and women survivor parents...
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Two Texts to Show One Difference Between a High and Low ACE Score
I was leaving the house on the way to do something brand new and scary a few weeks ago. My two close friends, Heidi and Kathy, both sent me a text. One has an ACE score of 10. One has a below 4 score. The text from Kathy reminded me that I am loved and safe. She sent me a sticky note with affirmations and attempted to calm my nerves by reminding me that humans are caring and curious and want to know what others have to say. The other text was from Heidi. It said, "Beast mode today." That was...
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Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor
The feeling of having a healthy supply of self-worth is something I can only imagine might have been more readily available, natural and automatic if I was able to see that in myself as a child. As an adult survivor of childhood abuse, self-worth was not supplied in healthy doses while growing up.
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What If I Told You?
What if I told you that I was a victim of child sex abuse? As a survivor of child sexual abuse , I have a clear understanding of the importance of addressing stigma and shame as it pertains to sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. Victims, especially young children, often do not disclose sexual abuse. Those who are witnesses of child sexual abuse, or who are trusted by survivors enough that they confide in them, are often ill-equipped to handle the responsibility. And, many times, parents...
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What is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD)?
Most people have heard of post-traumatic stress disorder that afflicts many men and women returning from a war zone. It is characterized by flashbacks, unstable moods, and survivor’s remorse. However, many have never heard of a condition that often develops in childhood and changes the course of the child’s life forever, complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). For a good definition of CPTSD, we turned to Beauty After Bruises, an organization that offers outreach focused on adult...
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What it's not (www.inotherswords.com)
Here's some writing by Laura Parrott Perry on that whole forgiveness thing. It's clear, honest and helpful. Excerpted from her blog: “I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.” Khaled Hosseini Recently, I’ve found myself part of many conversations around the topic of forgiveness. Forgiveness is something I think many people fundamentally...
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When Is It Sex, and When Is It Sexual Abuse or Assault?
By understanding the difference between sex and sexual abuse, trauma survivors can understand that unwanted touching they experienced in the past was not sex. Sex is always consensual in a way that feels safe and pleasurable. Abuse occurs without your consent, and is never your fault.
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Show & Tell
Show don't tell is the first bit of advice almost every writer gets. Don't give facts if words can form an image. Don't say a song was fast-paced if words can tap quickly, instead, across the page. It's good advice but when it comes to ACEs we need both. We need to tell and show and tell again. There's resistance to telling. We need facts and data and proof. And we need stories. Both. Over and over and over. So the facts come with faces. So the data is as pressing as a poem. I can write...
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Simple Solutions to Real Barriers
My name is Rebekah Couch and I am a former teen mother of five children, the youngest child being my only clean and sober pregnancy allowed to remain in my care. I am a survivor of multiple sexual assaults and was afflicted with untreated mental health issues as an adolescent. My destructive journey began with self-medicating and illegal activities in junior high and a daily cocaine addiction by the age of 15 that eventually advanced to methamphetamine abuse. My addiction and criminal...
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Star Neuroscientist Tom Insel Leaves the Google-Spawned Verily for … a Startup? (www.wired.com) & Commentary
I wonder if ACEs science is known, considered or used by a neuroscientist such as Insel? I read stories, like the one below as a parent and a trauma survivor and am as fascinated as I am troubled. My hope is that technology and health data tracking will be used to better treat people and to treat people better? Here are some excerpts from an interesting article in Wired which was written by Adam Rogers: Insel’s hopes for research have always been outsized. You might remember the...
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Surviving Spirit Newsletter July 2019
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Newsletter Contents : 1] The Courage of Parenting When You Have A History of Trauma(c) by Gretchen Schmelzer 2] The House Committee on Oversight and Reform held a hearing entitled, “Identifying, Preventing, and Treating...
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Survivor Gallery (www.sayitsurvivor.com)
When we speak of ACEs we do so, almost universally, as adults. But the adverse experiences lived through are lived through by children, as children, while children. When I look at the photos in the Survivor Gallery I feel sad and old. I remember childhood and the way I felt as a kid, while a kid. Ancient. Lost. Confused. All at the same time. Today, I'd say ancient-lost-confused is code for anxiety or helplessness or too alone. But I didn't know that as a kid. As a kid, I felt wrong and bad...
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Survivor-Led Advocacy Initiatives
It's not trauma-informed if it's not informed by trauma survivors. I say this as a trauma survivor but even more as someone who has worked at a shelter for homeless families at a time when my own father was homeless. I saw class differences cause clashes that went beyond clumsy and awkward moments. People were hurt and dis-empowered at times by the very staffers working hard, and for low pay, to help. I was in college, and with only that as a qualification, told, during my first interview,...
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Survivor-Led Resource: Finding Wholeness Survivor Yoga Retreat (www.zabieyamasaki.com)
I just heard about an amazing 3-day workshop coming to CA in 2017. It's led by a trauma survivor who is also a trauma-sensitive trained yoga teacher. Her name is Zabie Yamasak and she's the founder of Transcending Sexual Violence Through Yoga. I interviewed Zabie a few years ago when writing a series of profiles about trauma survivors who have created non-traditional healing programs for other trauma survivors. This workshop includes yoga, hiking, massage and reflection. It's inaccessible...
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Talking ACEs
It’s two plus weeks since Oprah talked developmental trauma on 60 Minutes and introduced the world to the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study and ACE Quiz o n national television. I’m still flying high and committed to 30 days of posts about developmental trauma from ACEs. However, it is time for some digital diversity and the brilliant and varied voices of ACEs experts. These talks are all available online, for free, and can be understood whether one has a Ph.D. or PTSD – or both.
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The Body Remembers
She had a poster of Where’s Waldo? on the wall, presumably there to distract her patients from what was happening while they lay on the exam table. This was my third appointment, and on the drive over I had fought down rising waves of panic at walking back in to this room, with Waldo and her gloved fingers. When my physiotherapist had first recommended this treatment after months of physio exercises had failed to produce the desired results, I went home and cried. I called Dawn and told her...
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Rebecca Lewis-Pankratz: Solving Poverty in Your Local Community (www.betterleadersbetterschools.com) & Commentary
Cissy's note: This is a great podcast for parents, educators, and community organizers and change makers. It is an interview with @Rebecca Lewis-Pankratz interviewed by Danny Bowers "Sunshine" of Better Leaders Better Schools . Rebecca Lewis-Pankratz says things like, " We all need each other. Everyone here is important," and " The community is who we are," but they aren't inclusive-sounding platitudes. She is a tireless optimist but also understands, personally and professionally, how...
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Reconnecting to your Body after Peritraumatic Dissociation
In this article, we will talk about one of the most common symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder – dissociation. We will explore different methods and tools that help us to reconnect with our body in the long term. Since one of those tools is therapy, we will also talk about the limits of talk therapy, and address how working with our body directly can teach us new and healthier responses when we are overwhelmed. Definition and Explanation of Dissociation For every trauma...
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Review of Wrestling Ghosts (Documentary About Breaking the Cycle of Trauma) & Tickets
Cissy's Note: This post below with an offer for some free tickets to see Wrestling Ghosts was shared in the Parenting with ACE s community, thanks to @Charlotte Graham! However, I know many care about parents, parenting with ACEs who are on the main page so I'm sharing here as well with my review of this movie. I saw it last week and IT IS SO POWERFUL!!!! This documentary is so honest, raw, real, and powerful. It made me sad, hopeful, heartbroken, and encouraged all at the same...
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SAMHSA's Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma-Informed Approach
Years in the making, this important piece of the trauma-informed pie is on the table! Check it out.
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Self-Care Is a Vital Part of the Healing Journey
Focusing on your health is important as you heal after trauma. I had learned a lot about trauma. I understood the impact but having been fortunate with a healthy body, the long term impact had not showed up in my biology except for very painful migraine headaches and depression. But the toxic level of stress I had lived with my whole life had not registered yet. Back then, my self-care mostly consisted of numbing the pain. It just hurt too much to think about it. I was in too much pain and...
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Sex Trafficking Prevention: A Trauma-Informed Approach for Parents and Professionals (Book Resource)
Just a quick post to share this book resource I heard about this morning from Beth Grady . The author is Savannah J. Sanders and here's a bit more about her and this book, from Amazon (where I've just ordered my own copy): Drawing from her own experience being trafficked plus her insights gained from years of advocacy and anti-trafficking work, the author speaks directly not only of the realities of trafficking that occur in our own communities but also the solutions that we can all be a...
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Loving a Trauma Survivor: Understanding Childhood Trauma’s Impact On Relationships (www.brickelandassociates.com)
Note: I saw this article by Robyn E. Brickel, MA, LMFT on my Facebook newsfeed today. Times have changed! How great to find resources more readily available. Many of us are not only trauma survivor parents but we are related to, in love with or partnering with adults who are as well. This is a helpful resource to help us better understand our/their sometimes fearful and withdrawing reactions. I'm also sharing that I got an email from someone at 2 a.m. last night who said that research...
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Mediocre Mothering Made Better by Guided Imagery
My parenting was not ideal yesterday. I'd slept three hours and had a condo deal fall through days before closing. My house will still sell so I don't know where we'll be living in a few weeks. This is high stress. I was distracted, on the phone over 50 times with real estate people, the bank, attorneys, friends, town hall and rental places. Not fun. I cried a little but mostly felt an overwhelmed shutdown, the kind that comes with terrible thoughts. Like when the realtor says, "This has...
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Menopause, Parenting & ACEs with Carey Sipp: Chat Event Online, August 8th
“I know this today: building the resilience that will afford us a Third Act does take a village. It takes our being checked into the collective energy of a group of people who are dedicated to truth, self-care, and healing.” Carey Sipp Carey Sipp is a health writer, parenting educator and trauma-informed communities advocate. She is the author of The TurnAround Mom: How an Abuse and Addiction Survivor Stopped the Toxic Cycle for Her Family and How You Can, Too! She is a frequent speaker on...
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Michael Skinner, live performance @ Survivor Knights 3-24-19 video 1
Michael Skinner, live performance @ Survivor Knights 3-24-19 video 1 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1J7llqObqw&feature=youtu.be Live performance of "Pirates" and "When Your Heart Follows A Lie", brand new tune!! for the Survivor Knights Event @ The Rotunda, Philadelphia PA March 2019 More info @ http://www.mskinnermusic.com/home/music/album-pirates/ & http://www.mskinnermusic.com/home/
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The Healing Place Podcast: Barbara Rubel, MA, BCETS, D.A.A.E.T.S. - How to Help Suicide Loss Survivors & the Traumatic Impact of Suicide
Barbara Rubel is a suicide loss survivor and leading thanatologist. Thanatology is the scientific study of death. As a thanatologist, Barbara Rubel specializes in suicide loss survivor grief and educating professionals about traumatic loss. The third updated and revised edition of her book, But I Didn’t Say Goodbye: Helping families after a suicide, just launched on Amazon.
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The Healing Place Podcast - Joyelle Brandt: Parenting with PTSD
I am grateful to have had the chance to sit down with Joyelle Brandt to discuss her mission of helping those who are parenting with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Thank you, Joyelle, for sharing your personal story and the beautiful work you are doing helping others along their parenting and healing journey. What a gift for those families and the children who will benefit from the steps their parents are taking to heal.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.
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The implicit bias of, “Mental Illness” and “mentally ill”, a lexicon of hurt.
How can we heal from the implicit bias of “ Mental Illness ” and “ mentally ill ”? I hear these words and it sounds like fingernails scraping down the chalkboard. “ The stain of dehumanization colors the mind, body and spirit and it is not so easily washed away.” - Michael Skinner Recently I read a blog post at the ACEsConnection website, “Erasing My ACES” by Sirena Wheeler. It was posted on April, 19, 2020. It struck a chord with me, many in fact and it put me on a spiral down memory lane.