I just heard about an amazing 3-day workshop coming to CA in 2017. It's led by a trauma survivor who is also a trauma-sensitive trained yoga teacher. Her name is Zabie Yamasak and she's the founder of Transcending Sexual Violence Through Yoga.
I interviewed Zabie a few years ago when writing a series of profiles about trauma survivors who have created non-traditional healing programs for other trauma survivors.
This workshop includes yoga, hiking, massage and reflection. It's inaccessible for many. Most parents of young kids can't get away for three days even if we could afford the price tag ($900). So many parenting with ACEs do not have a large network of safe and supportive family or trusted adults to leave kids with. Many of us are single parents.
So why share it here? Because it's great that more survivor-led resources are available. And shorter versions of this workshop could be helpful and accessible.
So much of the work done with parents who are in crisis is oriented towards parenting education. That's needed, at times, but to me it's secondary and not primary.
Many of us need to feel safe (or safer) in our skin and body before we can use and incorporate any parenting education. If we don't have ways to regulate our stress and anxiety and symptoms, if we have limited support and resources, very little information gets in and gets used.
Therefore, anything we do to support ourselves and each other in slowing down, feeling safe, being centered and present and attentive and attuned is going to improve our parenting. It's going to improve our health and help us to pay better attention to education and to ourselves and to people. Especially to the people in our own lives. Our kids. Our friends. Our partners.
For me, yoga has been a non-clinical place where I've been allowed, affordably and at my own pace, to make peace with my body. It's what helped me learn to regulate my own sensations and symptoms (along with guided imagery and writing).
We all learn differently but we can't teach our kids how to self-regulate if we don't know what that means or how and why it's beneficial in our own lives.
In yoga, I can be reminded to pat attention, slow down, notice breathing or tightness or aches and pains. It's a place where I can quiet my brain and allow music or the voice of another to help me feel calm, soothed or curious about my own body.
There aren't a lot of places where this learning can happen. And there aren't a lot of places where it can be practiced. For me, my body wasn't ever a safe place to be or hang out. Yoga helped me find neutral places within myself where I could tolerate being present. And the emphasis wasn't on all that went wrong in my life or happened to my body but on how my body feels right now in this moment.
Yoga did and still does help me be less reactive in all of my relationships. My loved ones now say, "Can you get to yoga?" when I'm tense, grouchy or not sleeping. They know, if I attend to myself I'll be a better version of me. A better version of me isn't just good for me. It makes me a better parent, friend, employee and partner. But, learning how to be still and present takes a lot of practice.
Yoga, for me, is a non clinical way to learn how to be in my body. It's not for everyone and that's fine. The key is that as many healing modalities be available as possible that support parents recovering from ACEs. And to know that if the traditional treatment approaches aren't meeting your needs, in general or for a while, there are lots of other options.
Even that, is helpful and healing to know.
If you want to learn more about Zabie, this is a nice overview.
For more about trauma sensitive yoga, for yoga teachers, and general audiences: check this out.
More about Zabie's story and other free videos can be found on her website.
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