Tagged With "Amy Goodman Survivor Stories"
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The Legacy of Untreated Secondhand Drinking-Related ACEs
I am the child of an alcoholic. My mom didn’t stop drinking until age 79. She died at 84. There was no warning, no lingering illness. She died two days after an unsuccessful emergency surgery. But we had five years during which she did not drink, after forty-five years during which she did. You see, my mom knew she had a drinking problem. So did we, the rest of her family. There were times when she fought mightily to stop or control it. There were times when the rest of us fought mightily to...
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The Link Between Childhood Trauma and Sexual Abuse in Adulthood
Please check out our latest Healing Our Ghosts' podcast with ECHO's executive director and #metoo Harvey Weinstein's silence breaker Louise Godbold. Healing Our Ghosts shines light into the suffering we keep hidden. We are not alone in our struggles and when we share our pain, we lift the shame secrecy that keeps us alone and disconnected from each other and prevents us from healing. With humor and compassion, Ana Joanes interviews a wide variety of guests about their messy lives, how they...
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The power and passion of a survivor - Cissy White (www.thetraumatherapistproject.com)
Excerpt from the Trauma Therapist Podcast hosted by Guy McPherson, PhD. In This Episode Cissy’s website Cissy published in the Elephant Journal ACEs Connection ACEs Too High Articles There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal , Belleruth Naparstek Cissy's note: Even before I got cancer, being on the Trauma Therapist Podcast with Guy McPherson was a bucket-list item for me. It's the podcast where I first heard...
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The Relentless School Nurse: Parenting with High ACEs – Voices of Lived Expertise
Christine “Cissy” White is leading a movement to make sure that parents with high Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) scores have the resources and support they need to end the trend of generational trauma that so many have i nherited and unknowingly passed on to their children. The voice of the parent is first and foremost in Cissy’s plan of action. To reach this goal, Cissy had to first find her own voice, which she has done brilliantly through writing, speaking and leading workshops.
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The Relentless School Nurse: The Text Message No Parent Wants to Get - An Active Shooter is at School
Many blog readers know that my niece Carly is a survivor of the Parkland shootings at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. You may know that my father also survived a mass murder, and like Carly, hid in a closet until the police arrived. Almost 70 years separated the two tragedies. Our guest blogger this week is my sister Merri, Carly's mom. Merri shares her first-hand account of what happened the afternoon of February 14, 2018, when Carly sent this text, “Mom don’t freak out but we are on...
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The Rise of the Trauma-Informed Mothers
The next generation is less likely to wear predisposed shackles of trauma because as trauma-informed parents we are re-wiring the traumatically stressed DNA that was passed down to us.
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter May 2020
Hi Folks, The May edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php or PDF - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-05-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_May_2020.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael . “ Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” - Helen Keller The Surviving Spirit Newsletter May 2020 – please...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter October 2019
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via...
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The Survivor-Led Trauma Summit Hosted by Svava Brooks
Survivor-led. Free. Online summit about trauma. Any of these things would get my attention but put them all together and I'm intrigued. Yesterday, I heard that Svava Brooks is hosting an online summit about trauma recovery with over 20 guests that she's interviewed and making the content available for free. I had to know more about her and the summit. A Little Bit About Svava Brooks Svava Brooks, mother of three children, has dedicated her life to ending the cycle of child sexual abuse...
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How to Give Your Kids What You Never Had
As child abuse survivors, we work really hard to do the best we can with our children. We want them to have what we didn’t. So we try to create a healthy, nourishing environment to help our kids grow and thrive in the best way possible. But after working all day, sometimes there isn’t much left of us for our children. That used to bother me a lot. I felt like I wasn’t giving my kids 100% of what they needed from me. Finally, I realized I was trying to give them what “I” felt they needed, not...
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How to Support Someone (Like Me!) Who Has Experienced Trauma
This blog post and infographic is dedicated to the wonderful man (too shy to want to be named) who has had the patience and sheer tenacity to stick around for six years while we have figured out what I needed as a trauma survivor to be able to tolerate a relationship with a romantic partner. (And for him to tolerate me!) If you didn't have a safe, stable nurturing relationship with your primary caregiver as a child, you need and yearn for that kind of connection as you go through life. And...
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Why Aren't Trauma Survivors Warned that Parenthood May Be a PTSD Trigger? (www.triggerpointsanthology.com)
Note: Hardly anyone talks or speaks out about parenting as a survivor, parenting with ACEs and parenting with PTSD. We are so fortunate to have this space, here, to do so. This essay is fantastic. I remain shocked that with all that is written about and for survivors, and about and for parents, no one has recognized and addressed parents who are survivors. As an advocate for parenting survivors, I am continuously amazed at the response I get when I speak on the topic, by both professionals...
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'I am not okay': The remarkable response to the Charlie Rose allegations, from his CBS colleagues
This afternoon, Charlie Rose was fired from PBS and CBS. This morning, G ayle King and Norah O'Donnell, who anchor with Charlie Rose, reported on this national story. Here's an excerpt from an article by J. Freedom du Lac , Amy B Wang and Marwa Eltagouri which discusses this video clip. I'm okay and not okay. How are you? Are you talking about this with your kids, friends, partner, co-workers? I've been asked how I'm handling all the news reports of sexual harassment, assault and abuse being...
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In Oregon, Police Departments Are Changing Sexual Assault Reporting (www.wbur.org) & Commentary & Questions for YOU
"There is a series of 20 elements to the program. There may be a victim that steps forward that wants two or three of us those. We don't put what we believe someone needs on the person who was victimized. We let them tell us what they need and that's a real shift from the traditional law enforcement response which can be pretty assumptive of what someone needs or wants or should want if they've been victimized." Detective, Carrie Hall on WBUR's Here and Now program today speaking about the...
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Inside the ACE Score Strengths Limitations and Misapplications with Dr. Robert Anda (www.YouTube.com) & Note
Cissy's note: Thanks to @Elizabeth Perry for flagging me and letting me know about this important YouTube video posted on April 6th via the ACE Interface Laura Porter channel which furthers this important discussion about the uses/misuses of ACEs scores. This topic is written about from a personal perspective by @Sirena Wheeler here, yesterday, on ACEs Connection a piece entitled Erasing My ACEs which @Laura Porter commented upon. I have found tremendous benefit from learning about ACEs...
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Introducing myself: Cissy White, parent with ACEs who’s parenting with ACEs (and who’s the Parenting with ACEs group's new group manager!)
I learned about the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study and 10- questionnaire survey only two years ago, and it’s fair to say I’ve been obsessed with it ever since. I’m a mother, a trauma survivor, an activist and a writer. For years, I’ve written personal essays , profile pieces and a few research-style papers about post-traumatic stress disorder, developmental trauma and interpersonal violence. Yet, something was missing. In my own recovery, I’d often say, in therapy and to friends and lovers,...
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Is ACEs Advocacy Worth Risking Professional Backlash?
"Don't you worry an employer will see the personal stuff you have shared online?" ****** When I began writing publicly about my life and experiences with depression, and as a parenting with an ACE score of 9, my career in the mental health field was already on hold. At the time, I was a stay at home mom who needed an outlet. Now being back in the field, I sometimes get asked the question above. Truth is, yes, I do worry. But not for the reasons you may think. It has more to do with my feet,...
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Is Sexism an ACE?
Many of us have experienced sexual assault and/or abuse. The idea that our children could experience the same is terrifying to the point of being paralyzing. Even if our daughters have an ACE score of 0 they will not escape sexism. The upside of so much media coverage about sexual assault, harassment and sexism is that it gives us the opportunity to talk to our kids with a tiny bit of distance. What I mean, is that we can have conversations that are more topical and general, because we are...
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When Your Child Is Your PTSD Trigger
One-third of children experience childhood abuse, and yet the question is never asked: what happens when those children grow up and have families of their own?
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Why Aren’t Trauma Survivors Warned That Parenthood May Be a PTSD Trigger? (themighty.com)
For many survivors of childhood abuse, symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may re-occur, or never arise, until they become a parent. A significant number of parenting survivors do not recognize the increased depression , anxiety or onset of flashbacks as symptoms of PTSD, weaving in and out their journey to raise a family. Instead, many will internalize debilitating shame and question their ability, and even their right to parent. According to the National Center for Victims of...
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Why not share information on trauma and resilience directly with survivors?
The Echo conference is known for shining a light on new developments in the trauma field, and this year, our "And Still We Rise" conference will be no different. Only the difference this year is that we will be doing something revolutionary in our field - providing information on trauma and resilience DIRECTLY TO SURVIVORS . Historically, the conference audience has been service providers and - as any trauma survivor will tell you - it is imperative that our services, systems, and...
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Why We Shouldn’t Shield Children From Darkness (www.time.com) & Note
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Writing to Heal, Yoga to Feel & Survivor-Led Resources Online
I love yoga and writing. I need yoga and writing. Both are relatively affordable and can be done alone and at home or in community. Both have been central to my survival, recovery and growth which I write about below. I also love sharing and supporting survivor-led resources created for survivors and others. Here are two links to those if you want to get to those right away. There are more details about each following the essay: Write Your Story, Heal Your Life Summit: Alaura O'Dell...
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New Resources for Military Families
Sesame Street for Military Families Sesame Street for Military Families has released new content! Visit the link to find interactive games, videos, and printable activities for military families to do with their preschool children. Topics include staying healthy together, creating fun and meaningful birthday traditions, encouraging children’s self-expression, making changes more comfortable, and so much more! NCTSN Child Traumatic Grief Series Supporting Military Children with Traumatic...
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New Toolkit Issued to Help Providers Measure Trauma With ACES Survey [youthtoday.org]
A new toolkit is out that aims to help services providers give a survey about traumatic childhood experiences that are linked to negative effects on health and well-being. The toolkit, developed by The National Crittenton Foundation , offers recommendations about the Adverse Childhood Experiences survey, including how to talk to children and parents about the survey, track results and use the data for public education and policy advocacy. The toolkit also includes a sample protocol, case...
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New website for CSA survivors to identify abusers anonymously
Vertigo Charitable Foundation (VCF) is excited to announce the launching of a new website, Me2csa.com , for adult survivors of child sex abuse to anonymously identify their abusers online. We have attached a Press Release, which provides more information about the new site. Please forward this information to any groups, organizations, and individuals that would have an interest in accessing the site. We strongly believe that there is strength in numbers. Although identifications will be...
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Parenting as a Survivor Keynote to Follow Free Resilience Screening
I share my story of having an ACE score of 9 and how that has effected me as a mother, because I can make sense of it now. I want other parenting survivors, and those that provide education and support services to them to be able to do the same.
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Parenting as an Abuse Survivor (www.ElephantJournal.com) PTSD
My cultural pride is shame. My cultural pride is shame. My native tongue is a memory I try to scrape clean so mud doesn’t cake out of my mouth. My greatest gift of maternal love is to insist she get no heirloom. My gift is to break the cycle. And what I give her is something I didn’t own as a child. Safety. Comfort. Responsiveness. Love. Attachment. I am not a child-girl-victim. I’m a mother-woman-adult. OK, I am, and will always be, both. (This is an except from “ Little Girl Riding Shotgun...
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
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Parenting, Menopause & ACEs After-the-Chat Summary: Carey Sipp
Have you talked with friends, siblings or co-workers about Parenting with ACEs while going through the change? Do you have any fascinating facts to share about how your OBGYN prepared or supported you when thrown by midlife, hormonal shifts and emotional residue from traumatic stress? Me either. And it's a shame. A lot of people parent, go through menopause, and have survived a bunch of ACEs. Conversations and information shouldn't be so hard to find. But they are. T hat's the reason we...
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Parenting, PTSD & ACES / Live Chat Event from Parenting with ACEs Series
Our next online chat event is fast approaching. All are welcome. Date: Tuesday, June 13th, 2017 (10 AM PST / 1 PM EST) Topic: Parenting, PTSD & ACEs. Guests: Dawn Daum & Joyelle Brandt are parents, writers, advocates and trauma survivors. Together, they edited the forthcoming Parenting with PTSD anthology and created an online community for parents recovering from childhood abuse. They educate mental health, human service and other professionals about the challenges and lived...
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Parenting with ACEs Resources: Power Sharing & Sharing Powerfully
Sharing as a trauma survivor, parent (via adoption), writer, and advocate, I'm going to detail what I find crucial in any program or perspective geared towards those currently parenting with ACEs. Most important, is that any program be survivor and peer-led (or co-led). If that's the only change done, it's a good one. Who shares content, and how, is as important as the content being shared. So often, programs to parents are patronizing, punitive, and can come across as "edupuking" all over...
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Parenting with PTSD & ACEs Chats Highlights & How to Find Chat Transcripts
Here are some answers to questions I've had about chats as well as a summary of the highlights from last week's chat . Chat Format The chats are done via typed messaging (no audio or visual). Chats are an hour-long and allow for discussion as well as Q&A. All are welcome to Parenting with ACEs chats. You don't have to have kids or ACEs to attend - though it's fine if you one or both :) You can post questions to a chat ahead of time and review a chat transcript after it has ended.
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Parenting with PTSD Book Cover
I can't wait to read this book. The cover is beautiful and tender. This parenting (with ACEs, with PTSD) is sacred, hard and important work. We need all the resources and support we can get. This book has more than a new cover. While the Trigger Points Anthology had honest essays from those of us parenting after abuse, this one has that plus new chapters and expanded and in-depth resources. There's lots more about ACEs, as well, and s Some of the new chapters are written by our own ACN...
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Parenting with PTSD: Breaking the Cycle Without Falling Apart - Event
I'm thrilled to offer a workshop at Riverside Trauma Center in Massachusetts in Dec. I'll be speaking as a parent-writer-trauma survivor perspective about ACEs and parenting with post-traumatic stress. The talk, geared mostly to clinicians and social workers and I'm eager to talk about parenting with ACEs (this group and in general). More about Riverside Trauma Center and the workshop, below. Riverside Trauma Center . a service of Riverside Community Care, helps people in Massachusetts...
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Parenting with PTSD One Liners & Parenting with ACEs Chat Reminder
Parents with PTSD from ACEs sharing what's hard about parenting while post-traumatically stressed: "Managing the terror around the possibility of everyone being a perp." "How to talk to children about why they won't meet X relative." “There was a point when I would feel completely overwhelmed by something as simple as having to make breakfast and school lunches at the same time.” "I didn't understand that not all parents reacted or were triggered the way I was." "was stone set on not...
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Parenting with PTSD Workshop: Getting to the Source of the Cycle
It took aging in to a very restless soul before I went looking for and found others like me ; women convinced they were “over” or “through” the ripple effects of childhood abuse, only to be blindsided by flashbacks, panic attacks and dangerous levels of hopelessness after becoming mothers. What I discovered and now aim to help others understand is how absolutely normal it is for a parenting survivor of childhood trauma to be triggered by her own child, and by doing basic acts of parenting...
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Partnering for Excellence Model: Walking the Trauma-Informed Talk (www.healwritenow.com)
I wrote about my personal experience at the Partnering for Excellence conference earlier this month. Here, I write as an activist observing attempts at system change utilizing ACEs science and trauma-informed approaches. Please share your ideas, brainstorms and observations about what you see happening (or not happening) in organizations or agencies you rely on, work at or run. I’ll admit, as an activist, I’m often in fight the system mode. I approach even do-gooders with defensiveness. Why?
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Permission to be actual humans during a pandemic, please
I have a single mom friend who is caring for a baby, a 16-year old, and working full-time. Her name is Heidi. This is the same friend, with an ACE score of 10, written about here a few years ago. This is what she posted on Facebook (and gave me permission to share) the day after Governor Charlie Baker announced the schools in MA will be closed, at least, until early May: The numerous and immediate comments and responses went something like this: I sighed in relief when I read Heidi's post. I...
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Please stop saying parenting is hard for everyone & read Parenting with PTSD instead
Sometimes, we feel anxious, intrusive, or afraid when changing or bathing or own babies. Sometimes, we feel sick to our stomachs and worried while potty training, nurturing, or disciplining our toddlers. Sometimes, we feel shame-filled and ill-equipped when talking about puberty, body parts, or sexuality because of how and where we were compromised by caregivers as children as in our bodies, homes, and families. P arenting is brutally hard for some. If affection, attention and intimacy have...
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Power and Partnership: A Guide to Improving Frontline Practice with Parents in the Child Welfare System (www.risemagazine.org) & the Importance of Lived Expertise
(Cissy's note: My Friday morning free-write on stuff I've been thinking about a lot of late) At least once a week, if not once a day, people ask about how to have more "authentic engagement" from parents, survivors, and community members - especially who are or have been in crisis related to ACEs. And sometimes, people share how hard it is to get or keep folks on committees who do have lived experience and care about trauma-informed change. I get these questions pretty often. But these...
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PTSD Symptoms: Re-traumatization (www.giftfromwithin.org)
If you are a successful survivor but your personal hurricane hits again, and PTSD returns, what should you do? First, make sure you are safe. Physical safety requires effort, friends and may require experts in security, law, or health. When the risks are high, you don't need psychoanalysis. You need a safety net. Second, when physically safe, but full of fear, flashbacks, numbing and self-isolation, remind yourself that you are better off than a rookie who knows nothing about emotional...
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Re: ACEs-, Trauma-Informed, and Resilience-Building Parenting Programs
Hello ACES in Parenting Group! May I ask for your input, please? I'm the Director of the Texas Cooperative Parenting Course for Divorce in Austin, Texas. It is a mandatory course for many parents in Texas who have minor children, and they must take our course (or a similar one) and present a certificate of completion to the court before the judge will grant their divorce. The goal is to equip parents with problem-solving skills to end conflict, positively co-parent, and help their children...
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Re: 9 Signs You Need Better Self-Care and May Be a Trauma Survivor
Robyn: I shared this in Parenting with ACEs because it's so important for those of us who are parents. I always appreciate your work and how generously you share. This list is helpful. It's great to see what an ideal is and what many trauma survivors do instead - as you said - for good reason. I know for me, this is a lot of what my adult learning has been. 1)What I did as a kid. 2)What people who don't grow up with trauma do (so I can help teach that to my kid) And also, I get irked at the...
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Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
Melissa: Great questions. I'm going to tag a few others to chime in as well. @Karen Clemmer @Rene Howitt @Rebekah Couch @Emily Read Daniels @Louise Godbold @Dawn Daum @Joyelle Brandt have all done presentations about ACEs, as have I. I'm sure we all do them differently and have experiences and thoughts on what does/doesn't work. My opinion is that sharing from the place of WE and US and OUR is most important. We are all impacted by the ACEs we do or do not carry. If we carry lots, that's a...
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A workshop for professionals who have survived sexual abuse or assault.
“Survivor Voices: Honoring our Whole Selves in the Field of Healing and Justice” That’s the title of the workshop my colleague and sister survivor, Dr. Emily Samuelson, and I offered at the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence Conference on May 6, 2019. Our workshop is a unique and supportive environment for survivors of sexual assault and abuse who are working in the field of advocacy and service to survivors. In some cases it’s the first time they’re sitting in a circle comprised...
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ACE-Aha Moments & Parenting: Meet Aprel Phelps Downey
Aprel Phelps Downey What was your ACEs Aha moment? When did you first hear about ACEs and what impact did/does it have on you? How do ACEs impact you as a parent? How is your parenting impacted by past trauma? What’s been most helpful to you as a parent parenting with ACEs? What’s been most challenging for you as a parent parenting with ACEs? What has parenting taught you? What have you learned? How do you manage complex family relationships? What inspires/encourages and helps you? I know...
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After Oprah’s Speech: Questions, Courage & Quotes from Clarissa (www.healwritenow.com)
We were so moved and energized by Oprah’ s speech . Now what? What do we do with all that motion and momentum now that the red carpets and cameras have been rolled up and put away? I started a survivor blog fewer than four years ago because I couldn’t find ANY other person writing, thinking and talking about life after a childhood full of trauma. I wasn’t looking for stories about child abuse or trauma but about how adults manage life, love, and parenting after surviving. I didn’t meet, see...
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After the Chat Review & Additional Resources: Talking Tough Topics with Kids
We had our first Parenting with ACEs Group chat a few weeks ago. The full chat transcript is saved online. For those who want highlights only and follow-up from our featured guest, Beth O'Malley, please find the following: Beth O'Malley: Talking Tough Topics as Social Worker, Parent & Adoptee How Lived Experience Can Be a Professional Asset Sharing Our Questions, Issues & Experiences How to Start Having Hard Conversations How to Talk with Teens ACEs as an AHA or Conversation Starter...
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Another from the Fathering as a Survivor Series (www.triggerpointsanthology)
If you know, love, live with, work with or want to better understand men who are survivors, and become fathers, t his entire series has been amazing. Here's an excerpt from the one with Jeff Glover who is part of the malesurvivor.org team and answered some questions. 7. What would you tell another survivor father who is expecting their first child? I would tell him to brace himself! The journey has been the most intense that anyone could imagine. But for all the pain and fear and yes face it...