Tagged With "women's rights"
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Tracing One’s Family ACEs Tree to Break the Familial Cycles of Alcohol Misuse
My marrying an alcoholic never made sense to me. My mother developing the disease of alcoholism never made sense to me, either. And why my loved ones couldn’t get it together to stop or wrest control of their drinking was equally confusing. Yet I churned around and in and through this muck for almost four decades before my world was split wide open. It was 2003 and one of my loved ones entered a residential treatment program for alcoholism. I remember experiencing a giddy – “I knew it, I...
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Training a Brain Afraid from Too Many ACEs: Demystifying Neurofeedback
Please share any stories, insights, experiences or opinions you have about neurofeedback. Have you tried it? Do you know anyone who has? Have you tried to get it covered by insurance for yourself or a child? Many of us are curious about this for treating our own symptoms or for better supporting our kids but it sounds serious, complicated and expensive. What's your experience been? What have you heard or felt or tried? What do you think? Sebern Fisher believes a “well-regulated brain” is a...
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Trauma tried to kick down the door. Compassion is helping me heal.
The artwork is an original piece titled "Someone at the Door" by Chicago artist Ken Shaw. I bought it about 35 years ago. (The first part of this piece was written in-the-moment, as an email to a friend following what, for me, was a traumatic experience. The second part of this piece was written about 10 days later, as part of a healing reflection. It occurs to me that this experience, and the reflections, might help someone else experiencing trauma and/or seeking compassion for self or...
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Two giant child welfare systems effectively admit the obvious: They confuse poverty with “neglect” (socialjusticesolutions.org)
FLORIDA: CANDOR FROM THE ATTORNEY GENERAL’S OFFICE In Florida, the admission was explicit. WFLA-TV, the same television station that broke this outstanding story about a child taken because of poverty only to die in foster care has followed up. In this story, they found state officials who admit that children are held in foster care solely because the children lack decent housing. As the version of the story on the WFLA-TV website puts it: NEW YORK CITY: A FOOD PANTRY THAT TELLS A STORY In...
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Two Texts to Show One Difference Between a High and Low ACE Score
I was leaving the house on the way to do something brand new and scary a few weeks ago. My two close friends, Heidi and Kathy, both sent me a text. One has an ACE score of 10. One has a below 4 score. The text from Kathy reminded me that I am loved and safe. She sent me a sticky note with affirmations and attempted to calm my nerves by reminding me that humans are caring and curious and want to know what others have to say. The other text was from Heidi. It said, "Beast mode today." That was...
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Understanding This Theory is Essential to Being Trauma-Informed
My typically happy, well-adjusted 11-year old daughter was having a melt downs of all melt downs. She was crying hysterically. I could hear her wailing downstairs as she was upstairs. I could feel my heart rate rising as her distress increased. I called up to my husband; “What is going on with Hannah?” Granted, the night before was a late Halloween night fueled by massive amounts of sugar. That right there renders a dire state in the body – little sleep, ample sugar. My gut twisted as I...
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Us and We with Wentworth Miller (www.goalcast.com) & Commentary
How we think, feel and experience the world in survival mode is not the same as we think, feel and experience it when safe. Even if we know this intellectually we might not know or remember how this feels. I saw this video of Wentworth Miller on my friend's timeline. I guess he's a tv star but that didn't matter to me. It was his words that captured my attention. He talks about growing up in survival mode as a child. It's not just that he shared his own story but how he connects his own...
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Vacancy: Self-Worth in the Mind of a Childhood Abuse Survivor
The feeling of having a healthy supply of self-worth is something I can only imagine might have been more readily available, natural and automatic if I was able to see that in myself as a child. As an adult survivor of childhood abuse, self-worth was not supplied in healthy doses while growing up.
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Vinnie Pompei wants you to know that we're all biased, and we can work with that [edsource.org]
Vincent “Vinnie” Pompei is director of the Youth Well-Being Project of the Human Rights Campaign, a national civil rights organization, and the chair of Time to Thrive, an annual national conference about LGBT student inclusion. He spent more than 10 years as a middle school teacher and high school counselor in the Paramount and Val Verde unified school districts in Southern California. Pompei is also a past president of the California Association of School Counselors. On Oct. 5 at the...
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W.H.O. Says Limited or No Screen Time for Children Under 5 [nytimes.com]
In a new set of guidelines, the World Health Organization said that infants under 1 year old should not be exposed to electronic screens and that children between the ages of 2 and 4 should not have more than one hour of “sedentary screen time” each day. Limiting, and in some cases eliminating, screen time for children under the age of 5 will result in healthier adults, the organization, a United Nations health agency, announced on Wednesday . But taking away iPads and other electronic...
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Webinar: Key findings from the Listening to Mothers in California Survey
Webinar: Key findings from the Listening to Mothers in California Survey. For more information and to register, please see below. Webinar is Thursday, September 20 , from 12-1:00 PM In 2017, a team led by the National Partnership for Women & Families surveyed more than 2,500 women in California about their views and experiences with childbirth. The results, which will be released September 12, reveal what is and isn't working with maternity care in the Golden State. Join us Thursday,...
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Webinar Slides and Recording: Building Resilient Communities with Elaine Miller-Karas
Recorded live August 8, 2019. Find the slides attached below. The 1 hour video recording can be found on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/BUyY0FMjv8s Speaker: Elaine Miller-Karas, MSW, LCSW, Executive Director and Co-founder, Trauma Resource Institute. Host: Carey Sipp, Southeast Community Facilitator, ACEs Connection. Webinar Description: This webinar will explore integrating a biological based model to reduce the impacts of toxic stress for children and adults. It is a model both for...
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What's Right with US!
Thoughts on the shift from, "What's wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?" Dear Monadnock Thrives & ACEs Connection: I have to admit, it has taken me some time to understand the value of shifting from, “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?” As a person with high ACEs, I realize I have been absolutely conditioned by our culture to resist the victim label (I resist thinking about what happened to me) and to ‘own’ my response to whatever has happened to me (I must pursue...
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When Hidden Grief Gets Triggered During COVID-19 Confinement
first published by The Meadows 4/15/20 Our sense of loss during the current COVID-19 crisis can trigger hidden emotions from when we experienced a sense of loss before. Whatever early losses you have had in your life — whether they be your own divorce, your parents, or both, or the abandonment of one parent, a childhood or parental illness or death, financial upheaval, constant moving around, or growing up with parental addiction or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) — they are likely to...
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When Is It Sex, and When Is It Sexual Abuse or Assault?
By understanding the difference between sex and sexual abuse, trauma survivors can understand that unwanted touching they experienced in the past was not sex. Sex is always consensual in a way that feels safe and pleasurable. Abuse occurs without your consent, and is never your fault.
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Sheltering in Place: ACEs-Informed Tips for Self-Care During a Pandemic
Millions of lives have been affected in unprecedented ways by the Coronavirus (COVID-19). We are all grappling with uncertainty—our daily routines interrupted, not knowing what is to come. For those of us who have Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), these times can be particularly distressing. At the Center for Youth Wellness (CYW), we know that childhood trauma can have a significant impact on an individual’s health and well-being – both physiologically and psychologically. Since the...
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Show & Tell
Show don't tell is the first bit of advice almost every writer gets. Don't give facts if words can form an image. Don't say a song was fast-paced if words can tap quickly, instead, across the page. It's good advice but when it comes to ACEs we need both. We need to tell and show and tell again. There's resistance to telling. We need facts and data and proof. And we need stories. Both. Over and over and over. So the facts come with faces. So the data is as pressing as a poem. I can write...
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Six Signs Your Brain is Dysregulated (and Ten Steps to Get Re-Regulated Again)
Adults who experienced early trauma are prone to dysregulation of the brain and nervous system, especially in response to stress. Dysregulation, in turn, can trigger (or exacerbate) depression, anxiety, illness, addiction and emotional outbursts. So clearly, learning to re-regulate is the first step in healing the effects of Childhood PTSD. If you think you may be experiencing dysregulation, learn about common symptoms (as well as ten on-the-spot healing techniques) on this free download.
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Small Ways to Practice Self-Compassion Right Now (thriveglobal.com)
Adjusting to our new normal means keeping up with constantly shifting expectations. We are being asked to go above and beyond in a lot of ways right now, so instead of judging ourselves by impossible standards when it comes to parenting , work productivity , or anything else, focusing on self-compassion is critical for our health and well-being. We asked our Thrive community to share the small ways they’re being more compassionate with themselves right now. Which of these will you try? Savor...
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Social injustice and inequality in the care system Part 1: How professionals can inadvertently make things worse (www.psychchange.org)
Cissy's note: One of the best blogs I've read recently and describes why I am passionate about sharing information about ACEs/Pair of ACEs personally and professionally but don't support universal #ACEs screening of adults or children, particularly parents and survivors of ACEs. I still worry that ACE scores will be used to further marginalize, shame, and other individuals and families. We know, thankfully, that #ACEs happen to all people, regardless of class, race, gender, etc. which is...
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"Social Justice- Parents have the right to know the most powerful determinant of their children's future health, safety and productivity." [NEAR@Home Toolkit]
NEAR@Home Toolkit: A Guided Process to Talk about Trauma and Resilience in Home Visiting Home visiting professionals are uniquely positioned to talk with parents about what we are calling NEAR Science — Neuroscience, Epigenetics, Adverse...
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Some Thoughts on Oprah (www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org)
Laura Dennis wrote about why so many adoptive parents, as well as teachers, survivors, and advocates, were glued to the TV last night. Here's an excerpt:
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Spokane, WA, public health nurses create trauma-sensitive toolkit for parents/caregivers
Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit -- 1*2*3 Care -- for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, g randparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care...
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Strengthening Families: Increasing positive outcomes for children and families [www.cssp.org]
We engage families, programs, and communities in building key protective factors. Children are more likely to thrive when their families have the support they need. By focusing on the five universal family strengths identified in the Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework , community leaders and service providers can better engage, support, and partner with parents in order to achieve the best outcomes for kids. How We Do It The Strengthening Families framework is a...
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Study Finds Foster Kids Suffer PTSD (www.thecrimson.com) & Commentary & Images
I shared the blog post below on ACEsConnection a little while ago. I keep thinking about images when it comes to PTSD and also ACEs. The cultural image of PTSD is something that still tends to be of soldiers. How do we go about changing that. I'm hoping a better understanding of ACEs, in the general public, will eventually change the images we tend to have and use as well. But what images should be shown? What images do people have of ACEs and what do we hope they (we) will have? I know even...
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Survivor-Led Advocacy Initiatives
It's not trauma-informed if it's not informed by trauma survivors. I say this as a trauma survivor but even more as someone who has worked at a shelter for homeless families at a time when my own father was homeless. I saw class differences cause clashes that went beyond clumsy and awkward moments. People were hurt and dis-empowered at times by the very staffers working hard, and for low pay, to help. I was in college, and with only that as a qualification, told, during my first interview,...
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Survivor-Led Resource: Finding Wholeness Survivor Yoga Retreat (www.zabieyamasaki.com)
I just heard about an amazing 3-day workshop coming to CA in 2017. It's led by a trauma survivor who is also a trauma-sensitive trained yoga teacher. Her name is Zabie Yamasak and she's the founder of Transcending Sexual Violence Through Yoga. I interviewed Zabie a few years ago when writing a series of profiles about trauma survivors who have created non-traditional healing programs for other trauma survivors. This workshop includes yoga, hiking, massage and reflection. It's inaccessible...
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Talking Tough Topics with Kids: Chat Event Right Here!
Hi Everyone! Our first monthly chat is scheduled for May 9th. I'm so excited. The topic is great and so is our guest. I hope you can attend. Cissy Location: Online / Parenting with ACEs Group It’s hard to know if, when and how to talk to children about abuse, addiction and ACEs. How do we find the right words or time? Please join Beth O’Malley , our special guest for the first in our Parenting with ACEs chat series . Beth has dedicated her life to supporting kids, adoptees, parents and...
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Taming the Dragons: Helping Children Cope: Ages Birth to Twelve Years
Taming the Dragons is a training manual for parents, foster parents, and kinship caregivers. It was developed out of a crisis nursery in WA state by Sue Delucchi. English and Spanish versions attached here for free downloads.
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Teens & Stress (Webmd.com & Nysteachs.org) Plus Commentary
My daughter didn't sleep well one night this week. She was looking forward to seeing friends back at school. But there are so many new kids in her grade and she's heard there's lots more home work this year. One the way to school she said she was "exstressed" (excited plus stressed). Back to school time can be a busy and expensive time for many of us. Our kids may be sleeping less, struggling with homework demands and social pressures while trying to keep up with jobs, responsibilities or...
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The Absence of Punishment in Our Schools
Where to begin... My heart is full of hope and joy as I watch the trauma-informed schools movement swell across our nation and planet. The science of ACEs is mind-bending to say the least and we are now able to open up a much deeper dialogue about human behavior and health. Ultimately this work is about healing… All. Of. Us. A new consciousness is taking root around ending the “us vs them” construct. The idea is growing that we’re all on this journey together and that no matter where our...
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The Body Remembers
She had a poster of Where’s Waldo? on the wall, presumably there to distract her patients from what was happening while they lay on the exam table. This was my third appointment, and on the drive over I had fought down rising waves of panic at walking back in to this room, with Waldo and her gloved fingers. When my physiotherapist had first recommended this treatment after months of physio exercises had failed to produce the desired results, I went home and cried. I called Dawn and told her...
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Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Can Help / Quotes & Commentary
I'm one of those people who reads multiple books at a time, at least when it comes to non-fiction. I grab a book from the pile on my desk to help me get through the time on the elliptical machine at the gym. I can't watch the news and exercise at the same time. That's two hard things at once which is one too many. Anyhow, right now I'm reading this book which just came out. It's geared towards parents, is written by Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper and Bert Powell with Christine M. Benton. The full...
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Real Resilience is now a PODCAST
Women who support an incarcerated loved one finally has a place to share their stories on the Real Resilience P.W.L. Podcast.
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Registration Open - 2019 Families and Fathers Conference Early Rate and Hotel Discount Closing Please Share
In forty-eight days, we open our 20th convening of a powerful conference focused on strengthening families, improving outcomes for children, and strategies to engage families. The 20th Annual Families and Fathers Conference hosted by Fathers and Families Coalition of America Sponsorships allow the extended early rate for an exceptional experience in Los Angeles, California from March 4th (pre-conference institute credential) through the main conference dates of March 5th - 7th. Please share...
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Reimagining Black Mamahood in an Unjust Society [Rewire.News]
One could argue that parenting, for Black women, is an act of political warfare. Women of color-led organizations have been working for decades to disrupt the toxic narrative around Black motherhood, a critical step toward dismantling the white supremacy stronghold—but it remains a steep hill to climb. Launched this week, Forward Together’s eighth annual Mamas Day celebration is honoring Black motherhood in all its forms and the right to parent . To commemorate the celebration, artists...
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RESILIENCY: Innate or Nurtured
For me, resiliency is in part innate. I don't think we can teach resilience. Through love and connection we can most certainly nurture it. A key piece of resiliency is connection with others. I look back at all that I have endured in my life and wonder what made me keep getting back up. Why did I become more tenacious each time life and family knocked me down? For me, what kept me going was being out in the world connecting with people throughout the day. It made me feel part of something...
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Resource List -- Spanish-Language ACEs Science Resources
Looking for Spanish-language handouts or information for presentations? Find Spanish-language resources here.
This resource list is organized in alphabetical order.
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RESOURCE: Parent guide information
Please share the with the families you serve the attached a 2-page document for parents and caregivers about the parent guides that Yolo County Children's Alliance has produced as a project of the Yolo County Child Abuse Prevention Council (CAPC). All of the guides are available at www.yolokids.org/forfamilies . There are some hard copies of the following guides and we would love for them to get into the hands of parents. Please let me know if you would like some of these materials!
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Resources 4 Resilience (www.r4r.support) & Commentary
We have the best community. And it feels like a community even more right now when things are scary, threatening, and uncertain. Yesterday, Jondi Whitis shared an amazing resource yesterday, by way of a comment, that's great for parents, survivors, providers, and families (all of us). I am making it a blog post in case others missed it or are overwhelmed, as I have been, by sifting through the information coming at us. The home page lets you easily find practices for calming. Here's one...
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Resources for Parents Struggling Now While Parenting with ACEs?
I got an email from another parent last week. She saw I was giving a talk on Parenting with PTSD and talking about ACEs. I am. She might not be able to be present, due to childcare issues, but wanted to know if I knew of any resources. Here's the thing. There are few resources. Few peer to peer supports, for parents, where there is childcare and a safe and affordable place to learn and practice regulating our own selves so we can help guide our kids. This, to me, is missing and it's missing...
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Rise TIPS: For Parents in Crisis (www.risemagazine.org) & Commentary
Note: This handout was developed with, for and by parents in the child welfare system. However, it's got great content for all parents. For example, the article "Fight or Flight: Coping When Visits Stir Up Reminders of Trauma" is excellent. Lots of us parenting with ACEs have had the shameful experience of being triggered by our children. It can feel horrible. However, it's something we rarely admit, talk about or find addressed anywhere. Part of the problem is that much of the stuff written...
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RYSE Center's Listening Campaign: Young people in Richmond, CA help adults understand trauma, violence, coping, and healing
"My experience with violence is very brutal...I grew up with violence as if it were my sibling." - LC participant (youth) "We know we can't run the city- it's too complex- but our experience and our voices should count, especially because we're the most effected ." - LC participant (youth) "Our city's problems are shared by us all; we are all part of the problem AND the solution. Listening is a key component to healing." - LC Share Out partici pant (adult) Three years ago, RYSE Center in...
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Serena Williams, Mark Cuban invest in company working to end black maternal mortality [The Hill]
By Marina Pitofsky, July 16, 2019, The Hill Tennis champion Serena Williams and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban have both invested in Mahmee, a company working to end maternal mortality, which just ended a $3 million funding round. “I am incredibly excited to invest and partner with Mahmee , a company that personifies my firm’s investment philosophy,” Williams, who donated through her organization, Serena Ventures, said in a Monday statement from the company . “Given the bleak data...
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'Sesame Street' Releases Pandemic PSA For Tired Parents Featuring Elmo's Dad [huffingtonpost.ca]
Article by Al Donato If you’re an exhausted parent at home right now, you have a friend in Elmo’s dad, Louie. In the latest pandemic programming from “Sesame Street,” the children’s series has released a PSA for parents starring the famous Muppet’s father. In the PSA, Louie reveals that, like many kids cooped up at home, Elmo won’t leave his parents alone. “It is wonderful to spend so much time with our children, but it can also be a bit ...” the older Muppet pauses, before letting out the...
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Lifebooks & Some Tips for Social Workers & Parents (www.adoptionlifebooks.com)
Beth O'Malley is a social worker who was in foster care as a child. She worked, for decades, at the Department for Children and Families (formerly called DSS). She is also a mother. Her child was adopted as well. She has a wide range of personal and professional perspectives. It's from her I learned about the importance of Lifebooks which can be made with and for toddlers, grade schoolers, and even teens. They are practical because they may be the one place a child can have to store names...
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Loving a Trauma Survivor: Understanding Childhood Trauma’s Impact On Relationships (www.brickelandassociates.com)
Note: I saw this article by Robyn E. Brickel, MA, LMFT on my Facebook newsfeed today. Times have changed! How great to find resources more readily available. Many of us are not only trauma survivor parents but we are related to, in love with or partnering with adults who are as well. This is a helpful resource to help us better understand our/their sometimes fearful and withdrawing reactions. I'm also sharing that I got an email from someone at 2 a.m. last night who said that research...
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How Magic Hugs & Author Donna Jackson Nakazawa Make ACEs Science Useful to Parents
Donna Jackson Nakazawa is a well-known writer and author. Her book, Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology is a go-to guide for lots of us and makes her a frequent guest on podcasts. Last week I heard Allison Morris interview her during her Healing Our Children World Summit . Morris, a self-described "trauma mama" and "single adoptive mother of a child with early developmental trauma, attachment issues, and some physical disabilities" who gathers information and...
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Making the Good Stuff Louder: Trauma Dad, Bryon Hamel
Byron Hamel, (AKA Trauma Dad ), is a filmmaker , children's rights and men's wellness advocate. He's also a father with "ACEs through the roof," who survived child torture at the hands of a man now on death row for infanticide. Before the Father & ACEs chat started last week (see full chat transcript ), we discussed if and how to give a trigger warning. Hamel's experienced horrific trauma during childhood. He didn't want to traumatize those on the chat but wanted to be honest.