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"Here comes the diversity" I think when I drop my Asian daughter off at dance some nights. She is often the only person of color in her class, school and sometimes even at large competitions. It was true when she studied Irish Step or went to a Feis and it's true now that she does ballet, tap, jazz and lyrical. When I look for dance ornaments or dance-related trinkets, they are almost always Caucasian and I don't buy them. Maybe that will change now that there is a Misty Copeland Barbie doll...

Abandonment is the ACE described in this beautifully written letter. You might be my mom. Only you will know. I think about you often. I have visited the place where you left me, in that hedge in a beautiful straw basket with hand-knitted clothes, swathed in a blanket. This is where my identity was forged as a foundling. From that little bundle you left behind in 1965, a great big me was formed. A dog sniffed me out. That day not only changed your life for ever, it changed the dog’s owners’...

This month marks my tenths wedding anniversary. My ACE score is five. I have four children who are 8, 7, 5 and 1.5 years old. Raising them up with minimum impact of abuse is my greatest challenge . Part of this challenge comes from having serious financial problems as ACE study charts predicted but the toughest part is that my wive's behavior as a victim of child abuse is my weakest point to handle . whenever my wife shouts or curs or beat them,I feel like I was hit by a car. She lives in...

This is not an us/them conversation. This is an all of us conversation. And if we choose to keep our story of silence this epidemic is going to grow."

I used to sneak away for a hot bath as often as possible when my daughter was in the need-me-every-minute years. I'd soak long past when the water went cold and I felt guilty at times but sometimes I needed to be alone. To read poetry. To have some physical space. To exhale. I didn't always know where or how to pamper or self-care myself. There were few adults I trusted. I believed in attachment-style parenting and wanted to be there all of the time. And that even made me feel guilty when I...

This article is written by Darcia Narvaez, PhD and is posted on Kindred Media . It got my attention because the title, 'How To Stop Disrespecting Your Kids' is geared specifically to parents. Many articles are written about parents but not to parents. And sometimes, articles talk about parents in ways that are so condescending they are hard to read. This article gives parents direct access to the ACEs test and the Aces Too High website which is also great to see. It does a decent job of...

This is an excellent article about "holding space" published a few days ago in Uplift . The visuals are exceptional. It's making me think about 'holding space' as it pertains to parenting. For me, it can be harder for me to drop my "I'm in the mom teaching role" and just hold space, as a parent. To listen rather than advise. To be with rather than make better. To offer myself rather than impose myself. To accept where my kid is at in a moment and be with that moment - and her - at the same...

It’s long been known that meditation helps children feel calmer, but new research is helping quantify its benefits for elementary school-age children. A 2015 study found that fourth- and fifth-grade students who participated in a four-month meditation program showed improvements in executive functions like cognitive control, working memory, cognitive flexibility — and better math grades. A study published recently in the journal Mindfulness found similar improvements in mathematics in fifth...

Check out this encouraging bit of news in Jane's new story on ACES Too High entitled "Troubled moms and dads learn how to parent with ACEs." (It's also on ACEsConnection.com .) "Since April 2014, more than 1,100 parents have learned about ACEs in parenting classes in three jails and two treatment facilities in Davidson and Rutherford counties, and in four classes at the Family Center. The entire set of parenting classes lasts eight weeks; in the county jails, they last six weeks. After...

"Was in the Mother's Day card aisle tonight," my good friend texted me, "there's still a big opportunity in that aisle for us to make some money... that's all I'll say about that." Her mother is an addict she hasn't seen, except for court appearances, in years. She knows my father was a homeless alcoholic. She showed up with a bag of lollipops and a hug when I got confirmation that he was dead and had died more than a year prior. There was no card for that or for her version of Mother's Day.

A father in county jail is ordered to take a parenting class, but isn’t too enthusiastic about it. As part of the class, he learns about the ACE Study, and does his own ACE score. “Oh my god!” he announces to the class. “I have 7 ACEs.” His mother’s an alcoholic. His dad’s been in and out of jail. He himself started dealing drugs at age 11, and doing drugs at 14. “I’ve got two kids at home experiencing the same things I did,” he says. The light bulb goes on. A few days after a woman who’s...

O.k., we're growing here and that's exciting. If you are willing to share, please do tell me a bit about you and what you are looking for/hoping for and wanting to add or get as it relates to parenting and ACEs. This part of my introduction, the questions, is sincere. I REALLY do want to learn more about you. What are your experiences, questions and needs? How has learning about ACEs impacted you? What are your struggles and your successes as a person or a parent with ACEs? What tools or...