Navigating love and relationships can be difficult at any age, but especially so in the angsty teenage years. Budding romances can be fun and exhilarating but also confusing and uncomfortable. In these moments of confusion, teens often turn to friends or the internet for advice. But what if teens were trained with other options? What if lessons in love and romance were taught more explicitly in schools and at home?
It turns out that teens are yearning for these lessons. They’re looking for more guidance from parents on emotional aspects of romantic relationships — everything from “how to develop a mature relationship” to “how to deal with breakups,” according to a survey by the Harvard Graduate School of Education’s Making Caring Common project.
Health educators like Shafia Zaloom are trying to create a more holistic approach to sex ed by teaching lessons in love and intimacy. She teaches a six-week course at the Urban School of San Francisco that follows the lifespan of a romantic relationship. The curriculum she has developed encompasses human sexuality and personal integrity with specific lessons in topics like sexual orientation, consent, good sex and pleasure.
“I teach it because human relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives. The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives,” she said. “Authentic connection matters and makes a difference. The focus of my work has always been on social justice and equity as well. There’s a lot of work to do with this in the realm of sex education.”
When teaching about consent, building empathy is imperative, says Zaloom.
“The social science shows through research that the only one common piece people who perpetrate assault share is a lack of empathy,” said Zaloom. “Empathy is the foundation of one’s capacity to have healthy and caring relationships, to truly respect someone. Needless to say, we talk a ton about empathy.”
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