Tagged With "grief and loss"
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Mass Incarceration, Stress, and Black Infant Mortality [americanprogress.org]
Infant mortality and mass incarceration are major issues affecting the black community. But while they are often thought of and dealt with on separate tracks, structural racism firmly connects these critical issues. Structural racism exposes black women to distinct stressors—such as contact with the criminal justice system—that ultimately undermine their health and the health of their children. Today, infants born to black mothers die at twice the rate as those born to white mothers. 1 This...
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Maternity Group Home Program Funding Opportunity. Applications Due 07/25/2019 [Admin for Children & Families]
Funding Opportunity Application Due Date: 07/25/2019 Maternity Group Home Program *See attached pdf for more info. Description: The Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families' Family and Youth Services Bureau (FYSB) announces the availability of funds under the Transitional Living Program’s Maternity Group Home (MGH) grant program. The purpose to provide safe, stable, and appropriate shelter only for pregnant and/or parenting youth ages 16 to...
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Mentored Boys or Monster Boys: The Two Choices for Our Future
I wrote recently about my preparations to take my 15 year-old grandson, Deon, for a four day, young men’s rites of passage, retreat. It was truly an adventure of a life-time for both of us and want to share a bit about the experience with you (that’s me in the second row on the right with Deon beside me). I’ve long believed that mentoring is critical to the well-being of our children and grandchildren, particularly the young men. It’s also critical to the well-being of our communities. Many...
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Mother's Day Can Be Hard: Chasing the Blues
The world has changed in many good ways. All over my newsfeed yesterday and today are posts about aching, loss, grief and divorcing from parents. Mother's Day, Father's Day and other holidays can be hard. At least that loss isn't experienced only in silence now. This year, I've seen many posts more complex than greeting cards. That wasn't always so. I'm not here to tell anyone about how Mother's Day should or might feel and if anger or forgiveness is good or bad, toxic or healthy or what...
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Mothers Dying After Childbirth Is a Medical Issue—But Cultural, Too [yesmagazine.org]
When a woman has a baby, she loses an organ. The placenta, grown by her body for nine months of gestation, snaps off from her uterus and drops toward the birth canal. The meaty purple bag ribboned with thick blood vessels is pushed through the cervix five to 30 minutes after the baby and, depending on the culture, is carried away to be buried, rendered, or discarded. And that’s just the part about the placenta. The physical trauma doesn’t stop there. Expulsion of the placenta leaves a large...
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The Dangers of Distracted Parenting [TheAtlantic.com]
Smartphones have by now been implicated in so many crummy outcomes —car fatalities, sleep disturbances, empathy loss, relationship problems, failure to notice a clown on a unicycle—that it almost seems easier to list the things they don’t mess up than the things they do. Our society may be reaching peak criticism of digital devices. [For more of this story, written by Erika Christakis, go to https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/the-dangers-of-distracted-parenting/561752/]
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The Developing Brain & Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Thanks to an explosion in scientific research now possible with imaging technologies, such as fMRI and SPECT, experts can actually see how the brain develops. This helps explain why exposure to adverse childhood experiences can so deeply influence and change a child's brain and thus their physical and emotional health and quality of life across their lifetime. The above time-lapse study was conducted over 10 years. The darker colors represent brain maturity (brain development). I have added...
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The Healing our Children World Summit starts March 1
The Healing our Children World Summit (free, online event) starts March 1
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The Healing Place Podcast: Barbara Rubel, MA, BCETS, D.A.A.E.T.S. - How to Help Suicide Loss Survivors & the Traumatic Impact of Suicide
Barbara Rubel is a suicide loss survivor and leading thanatologist. Thanatology is the scientific study of death. As a thanatologist, Barbara Rubel specializes in suicide loss survivor grief and educating professionals about traumatic loss. The third updated and revised edition of her book, But I Didn’t Say Goodbye: Helping families after a suicide, just launched on Amazon.
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The Holidays Can Be Hard
The holidays can be hard for many of us parenting with ACEs. This time last year I found out my estranged father died. It was such a relief. For months, I kept thinking, "I love having a dead Dad." And I know it's not a thought most people have had. But for my whole life I carried my father's life like a question I could not answer. Even though I had not seen him regularly, for decades, I never stopped wondering about his life, his absence and his own childhood. We never stop being related...
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The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Telling Us
Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology (PPN) oriented therapies have developed ways to identify and help babies, children, and families heal difficult early experiences and transform them into more life-enhancing experiences of being in the world. PPN-oriented therapeutic play is an effective way to do this and can be done in the office with a PPN professional and also at home with parents perceiving and engaging their children with this purpose in mind.
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran The Surviving Spirit Newsletter April 2020 http://www.survivingspirit.com/ http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2020-04-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_April_2020.pdf Hi Folks, Obviously we are all experiencing some very trying times and...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter December 2019
Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/pdfs/2019-12-The_Surviving_Spirit_Newsletter_December_2019.pdf To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via Contact Us, Thanks! Michael. Contents List: 1] A neuroscientist's advice for combating stress this holiday season by Dr. Patrick K. Porter 2] Peer...
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The Surviving Spirit Newsletter October 2019
Healing the Heart Through the Creative Arts, Education & Advocacy Hope, Healing & Help for Trauma, Abuse & Mental Health “ Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”. Kahlil Gibran Hi Folks, The latest edition of the Surviving Spirit Newsletter is posted at the website - http://newsletters.survivingspirit.com/index.php To sign up for an e-mail copy, please write to me @ mikeskinner@comcast.net or sign up @ Website via...
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How to Help Kids Grieve When Adult Relationships End (kqed.org)
As a psychotherapist, I’m no stranger to grief—adult grief, that is. I know what it’s like to sit with adults who are reeling from the loss of a parent or child or partner or best friend. But I knew from my training that just as depression often looks different in children, so does loss. I didn’t have my therapist hat on when my son went through his grief—I was just his mom, muddling through it alongside him. But I did know to look out for certain signs that he might be suffering: being...
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How to Soothe Our Inner Wounded Child
Hi ACEs Connection Community, I am a staff member here at ACEs Connection. I have been hosting mental health tools for personal wellness each evening for the past 2 weeks since we've had to start sheltering in place and isolating. Note: These videos are a personal project and not done on behalf of ACEs Connection. The ideas are not officially endorsed by ACEs Connection, although I reference ACEs science. In this video, I talk about why childhood wounds may be triggered during this...
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How Trauma Therapy Cultivated My Recovery
I was 5 years old when I had my first encounter with trauma. Too young to comprehend the magnitude of the situation, my first grade class participated in a “Good Touch/Bad Touch” workshop,centered around educating and recognizing signs of sexual abuse. I found relief in finding a safe place to lay down the burden I had been carrying. I went straight to the school counselor and told her, in vivid description, the intimate details of my unwarranted molestation. I remember the grueling...
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I’m not cured, but I am healing
I wanted every individual suffering from chronic illnesses to understand the emerging science on not only how early adversity can lead to adult chronic illness, but how we can heal.
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I’m Sick of Asking Children to Be Resilient [nytimes.com]
FLINT, Mich. — A baby born in Flint, Mich., where I am a pediatrician, is likely to live almost 20 fewer years than a child born elsewhere in the same county. She’s a baby like any other, with wide eyes, a growing brain and a vast, bottomless innocence — too innocent to understand the injustices that without her knowing or choosing have put her at risk. Some of the babies I care for have the bad luck to be born into neighborhoods where life expectancy is just over 64 years. Only a few miles...
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Immigrant parents report fewer adverse childhood experiences than US-born parents [medicalexpress.com]
"A new study found immigrants reported fewer potentially health-harming adverse childhood experiences, such as abuse, violence, or divorce, than native-born Americans. The findings, which will be highlighted in an abstract presentation during the American Academy of Pediatrics 2017 National Conference & Exhibition, suggest immigrants may experience different forms of stress early in life than do those born in the United States. The abstract, "Adverse Childhood Experiences Among...
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In honour of my Dad, Remembrance Day 2019
War is most certainly Hell. It is also a source of #ACEs for the children of veterans. Here's a little insight into my story.
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It's Not Always Depression, Sometimes It's the Holidays
There are many myths and “shoulds” about how families and holidays should be: Families should love each other. Families should get along. Holidays should be fun. Reality, however, does not reflect these “shoulds.” The facts are: many people do not have happy families, happy family memories or happy holidays. Therefore, holidays and families can trigger us into states of anxiety, shame, and misery. Perhaps your parent or child is mean to you, or you have an active alcoholic uncle that makes...
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January is Positive Parenting Awareness Month Time to Renew, Refresh & Recharge [Child Parent Institute]
Another year has flown by, leaving me wondering where the time went. As I think about my family’s milestones and memories over the past year, I’m reminded of how often I get consumed by work, my family’s hectic schedule, and the never-ending list of household chores. It’s easy for my family to go through the motions of our daily routines – get up, go to school or work, come home, eat, do homework or work, go to bed, repeat, repeat, repeat – and even be in the same room without really...
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When kids lose a parent to addiction, tell the truth (www.pressherald.com)
Note: Losing a parent, partner or another family member is hard. When the loss is due to addiction it can be more complicated. Not only do we feel grief and loss but sometimes shame and stigma. We might be confused about if, when and how to talk to our children about the loved one they lost. Here's a good article with advice and resources. Excerpt: But the first piece of advice is always the same: Tell the truth. “We always recommend being honest with children about the cause of somebody’s...
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Will the Pandemic Have a Lasting Impact on My Kids? [greatergood.berkeley.edu]
By Diana Divecha, Greater Good Magazine, May 18, 2020 Massive unemployment. Stunning loss of life. Disrupted education. An economy in freefall. These are the ingredients for tectonic social shifts that alter the arcs of human lives. Parents are always at the fulcrum of such pressures, protecting their families while trying to hold together a semblance of normalcy. For 100 years, developmental scientists have studied how families and children respond to disasters, manmade and natural. From...
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Writing to Heal, Yoga to Feel & Survivor-Led Resources Online
I love yoga and writing. I need yoga and writing. Both are relatively affordable and can be done alone and at home or in community. Both have been central to my survival, recovery and growth which I write about below. I also love sharing and supporting survivor-led resources created for survivors and others. Here are two links to those if you want to get to those right away. There are more details about each following the essay: Write Your Story, Heal Your Life Summit: Alaura O'Dell...
Ask the Community
ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
I work at an Early Learning Center that serves Head Start and ECEAP preschool families. We are looking to bring ACES and Resiliency to parents, but want to do so in a way that is strengths-based and does not leave families feeling at a loss for what they can do to move forward from ACES they and their families may have experienced. I have found many resources between this website and some other internet searches, but we are very interested in learning about other organization's experiences...
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New Member offering resources and training to parents of ACEs kids
Hi everyone! So glad to have found you all. (I'm still learning my way around so apologies if I've posted this in a few places.) I'm Alison Morris, single adoptive mother to a child with early developmental trauma whose ACEs score is sadly quite high. Even more sad is that I think my own parenting may have added a check or two since I had no idea what was going on for quite a while, and even when I did I found it SO hard to parent in a trauma-informed (connection- and relationship-based)...
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Next "A Better Normal" community discussion series: April 7, 2020 — Tian Dayton
Therapist and author Dr. Tian Dayton, who first started writing about ACEs science more than 20 years ago, will address grief and maintaining emotional sobriety during COVID-19. Carey Sipp, Southeast community facilitator for ACEs Connection, will host this community conversation, and Alison Cebula, Northeastern regional community facilitator, will moderate.
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“No Coincidence, No Story.” Lisa See Inspires (www.healwritenow.com)
(Cissy's note: This is a post my sister, Karyn White Doherty, wrote for my blog about an event she organized with her book club. I share it here because it's about loss, grief, and ACEs as well as about what heals - relationships, community, and sharing stories. If you have been dealing with extreme weather or life conditions the last few days, and find reading or writing to be a soothing and wonderful escape, I hope you enjoy this. My sister is the best!) How does an author bring about...
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Opioid Addiction: Advice for Parents
Given the way the media portray opioid addiction, it's natural to react with panic or moral outrage when you discover your child struggling with the problem. It's not natural to calm down and try to view your child as someone who is using opioids to cope with serious problems, though that is likely the case, according to research.
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Our Most Vulnerable Population - Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
Before the pandemic, grandparents raising grandchildren were already in a precarious situation. They were struggling to meet the needs of children exposed to maltreatment and trauma while also supporting the family financially. But now, we fear, things have made a critical turn for the worse while those grandparents become unemployed, sick, or in the worst-case scenario, die due to Corona Virus.
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Pandemic Changes How Friends and Families Mourn (aarp.com)
"Proper” goodbyes are a ritual of the past — for now. As Americans mourn their dead, families like Maddox's, with the help of funeral directors and clergy, are rewriting the norms of farewells because of stay-at-home orders, social distancing and travel restrictions . That's a good thing, according to David Kessler, 61, an author and expert on grief and healing. He says don't delay the rituals, even if the restrictions triggered by the pandemic mean that traditions must be modified. “If your...
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
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Parenting with ACEs Resources: Power Sharing & Sharing Powerfully
Sharing as a trauma survivor, parent (via adoption), writer, and advocate, I'm going to detail what I find crucial in any program or perspective geared towards those currently parenting with ACEs. Most important, is that any program be survivor and peer-led (or co-led). If that's the only change done, it's a good one. Who shares content, and how, is as important as the content being shared. So often, programs to parents are patronizing, punitive, and can come across as "edupuking" all over...
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Permission to be actual humans during a pandemic, please
I have a single mom friend who is caring for a baby, a 16-year old, and working full-time. Her name is Heidi. This is the same friend, with an ACE score of 10, written about here a few years ago. This is what she posted on Facebook (and gave me permission to share) the day after Governor Charlie Baker announced the schools in MA will be closed, at least, until early May: The numerous and immediate comments and responses went something like this: I sighed in relief when I read Heidi's post. I...
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Precarious Work Schedules and Population Health [rwjf.org]
By Kristen Harknett and Daniel Schneider, Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, February 14, 2020 What’s the Issue? Work has become more precarious in America over the past half century as employers have transferred more of the risks and uncertainties of doing business onto workers and households. As part of this shift, many workers have experienced an erosion of job quality—reductions in the real value of their wages; a loss or cutback of fringe benefits such as retirement plans and health...
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Protecting Our Children's Mental Health During the Pandemic
Our physical health is not the only form of health that is in jeopardy right now. The emotional health of our families is also at risk, and it can help to take proactive steps now to mitigate psychological damage to your children and prevent a silent aftermath of this outbreak.
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ACE Fact Sheets to Give Your Doctors, Patients & Beyond (free downloads)
I was first inspired to create a fact sheet summarizing the effects of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) after reading a comment in “Got Your ACE score?” A reader wished she had a form to give her doctor that documented the vast body of evidence explaining how early trauma increases risk for chronic physical and mental health conditions and much more.
I could relate.
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ACEs Connection Parent Handouts
Great resources to accompany ACEs screening efforts, presentations, and community awareness building. Please share how you plan to use the handouts in the comments section below!
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ACEs Research Corner — January 2020
Research papers this month include links between ACEs and bullying, dropping out of high school, adult disability, and the effects of countering ACEs.
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ACEs Science and Racism
This is a collection of resources regarding structural racism and trauma. This list aims to give a broad overview and is not all-inclusive. We welcome suggestions; if you have any, please comment below! The titles below and the PDFs in attachments are in alphabetical order. BSC Full Report Trauma Resilient Informed City Baltimore: This is the full report of the work, data, lessons, and direct quotes from several teams of people from various backgrounds in the Baltimore community as they...
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Addressing Trauma and Building Resiliency as Comprehensive Disaster Planning and Response
The attached memo is intended to make observations about communities affected by disaster-related trauma, and to offer recommendations for trauma-informed recovery. Community examples provide case studies or models for other communities grappling with similar issues. Suggested resources and tools provide communities with support for accelerated action. Memo authors represent active cross sector networks that contribute to resilient community infrastructure development, awareness building,...
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Adults Can Help Teens Manage Academics During Trauma [usnews.com]
As 2017 comes to a close, many teens are feeling the effects of devastating events, including school shootings , natural disasters and terrorist attacks. "They are bombarded constantly, and they are very connected to it," says David Head, director of mental health and wellness for Communities In Schools Houston, part of a national nonprofit that provides services to underserved students. Students directly and indirectly affected by these events may be feeling the effects of trauma –...
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After the Chat Review & Additional Resources: Talking Tough Topics with Kids
We had our first Parenting with ACEs Group chat a few weeks ago. The full chat transcript is saved online. For those who want highlights only and follow-up from our featured guest, Beth O'Malley, please find the following: Beth O'Malley: Talking Tough Topics as Social Worker, Parent & Adoptee How Lived Experience Can Be a Professional Asset Sharing Our Questions, Issues & Experiences How to Start Having Hard Conversations How to Talk with Teens ACEs as an AHA or Conversation Starter...
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At the cellular level, a child’s loss of a father is associated with increased stress (www.princeton.edu) & Note
(Cissy's Note: Several men have joined the Parenting with ACEs Community recently as a result of our recent chat on Fathers & ACEs . If you are one of them, welcome to this community. Just a reminder that ALL MEMBERS OF COMMUNITY ARE ENCOURAGED TO SHARE HERE. Please share essays, articles, research, resources, questions, stories, and statistics. Add calendar events to the calendar. Get a discussion going in the discussion section. Leave comments for one another. If you have questions or...
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Can people be saved from a terrible childhood? [theguardian.com]
When Sabrina Bugget-Kellum walked into a neighbourhood clinic in New York for a routine appointment in in 2016, she was desperate. Her son was in prison. She was trying to look after his two young children, who were aged one and two. Their mother was emotionally unstable. Bugget-Kellum did not want the chaos of the adults’ lives passed down to another generation. “We didn’t know if they would be safe with their mother,” she recalled recently. “I began to pray, please God, I need some help.
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Childhood Trauma, Addiction, and Eating Disorders (Psychology Today)
By Carolyn C. Ross M.D., M.P.H. April 29, 2020, Real Healing. What Native American, African Americans, and Holocaust survivors have in common. Have you ever thought about traumatic experiences as having their roots in the lives of your parents or grandparents? Trauma can be defined as the loss of an essential part of ourselves — a sense of safety, of trust or security. Trauma ultimately has the ability to define our behaviors, actions, and sense of self. More and more research is also...
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Childhood Trauma—It Happens More Than You Think [Napsnet.com]
Traumatic experiences happen-but when they happen to children, it can affect their view of the world, their sense of safety, their development, and even their longer-term physical and mental health. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), more than two-thirds of children reported at least one traumatic experience by age 16. While not every child will be traumatized from a difficult experience, some potentially traumatic events could include abuse,...